Dark Tide (2012)

 
Dark Tide (2012)

4/10

Starring:
Halle Berry
Olivier Martinez
Ralph Brown

Directed by: John Stockwell

Does Dark Tide qualify as a movie to see?

The answer to that is a sad NO! This movie lacks everything that could make it worth your sit-down time. The problem is that after you’ve been drowned in the dialogues and tossed around by some guy who thinks risk is fun, the movie pretty much has nothing more to offer, making you, the viewer, leave the cinema hall indifferent and pretty sure you just saw a documentary-like movie, thinking more of itself than you of it.

Released on limited screens, watching it myself, I can see why this would not have been worth the distribution money for a wide release. This tragic thriller follows a tale of Kate Mathieson (Halle Berry), who was a renowned documentary host for swimming with Great White Sharks.

After the tragic death of her mentor, she hung up her swimming suit and spent her days giving mundane wildlife tours to anyone who pays. Her old partner Jeff (Olivier Martinez) shows up later, after being paid by an adventure-seeking father and son, to convince her to take them to swim with the sharks.

Now I’m not the one to call a movie script dumb (well, that may not be totally true), but this script feels so weak and lame that I was wondering why any of the producers thought they had an a good enough script, worth rolling out the production carpet for. The plot was too thin, and there little to know character development or depth.

Halle Berry for me acted the best in this movie, everyone other person casted also did their average best, but add up their form of excitement to be in this movie, and still, you are short of the needed thrill to save this movie from being, meh!

Dark Tide is directed by John Stockwell, who also directed the waste of film reel Into the Blue in 2005, which starred Jessica Alba and Paul Walker.

Production of Dark Tide was done in South Africa and shot for six weeks on a small boat with real Great White Sharks. The underwater camera work was impressive, that I must add, and the film had really nice continuity as the underwater scenes don’t seem too far from what is actually happening, so you are not feeling like the movie cut off from one scene to another, kudos to the editing.

But if you have seen this movie, I’d like to know what you made of it, because I cannot for the life of me recommend it to anyone.

21 Jump Street (2012)

21 Jump Street (2012)

7/10

Starring
Jonah Hill
Channing Tatum
Brie Larson
Rob Riggle
Ice Cube

Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller

I have to be honest, I never expected to like this movie, but boy was it good. The whole idea of adults going undercover as kids was actually a fun ride, and I enjoyed it more than I planned to.

Buddy cop movies have been losing their waves. The thing is, all the buddy cop movies after Rush Hour 1 (1998) or Lethal Weapon (1987 – 1998) have been either too dull to comprehend or just mildly interesting movies you see just to mark the register that you’ve seen them.

Based on a TV series of the same name which aired on Fox Network between 1987 and 1991, the series focuses on a squad of youthful-looking undercover police officers investigating crimes in high schools, colleges, and other teenage venues. This 2012 movie adaptation also had the former cast of the series, Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise have a cameo role.

The plot had the duo Hill and Tatum as Morton Schmidt and Greg Jenko (respectively), get deployed as undercover cops to a high school to bust a drug ring, and everything you’d expect to happen doesn’t. That’s the fun of the movie.

Things are not the way both remember high school, as the nerds are the cool popular kids, and the jocks are outcasts. It’s chaotic, but that’s what makes it click, as these two who grew up with high school being the reversed now have to blend to a world that to them feels out of sync.

Written by Jonah Hill, who also starred in it, 21 Jump Street is a movie that suits a cinema viewing with a box of popcorn at your side. Hill’s performance was on a mild okay side, but the main cheese in the movie was Channing Tatum, whose acting range in this movie, stole the show. I guess the most fun I had was when I saw Ice Cube talking to the duo.

The movie was directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs). The directors and writers made sure you didn’t have to go see the original to get the full taste of 21 Jump Street. 21 Jump Street makes fun of everything in its path, even down to drugs, and how we kept expecting things to blow up, and they just don’t. The jokes keep coming in from every corner, making you laugh all through.

The high moments in the movie were whenever the duo were together. The low moment was when they were apart. As the movie kind of struggle there, you can see the pacing drop when we have to deal with scenes where these two were apart. To me that was a main issue, as it turns out the chemistry between the two carried the movie. Then, although I laughed a lot at the high school fitting in scenes, I felt they were too long at times, distracting me from the main plot.

It is a good movie to see, so go see it.

Mirror Mirror (2012)

 
Mirror Mirror (2012)

6/10

Starring

Julia Roberts
Lily Collins
Armie Hammer
Sean Bean

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Mirror Mirror takes a while to get into. The movie starts slow, has some bad pacing, but after the first 40 minutes, it takes a good turn, and I have to say, it isn’t that bad. When things finally pick up, you’ll see that it’s cool, and I enjoyed how the story tries to twist what we’re all used to.

The comedy doesn’t always hit home, but I enjoyed many of the comic relief moments sprinkled throughout. This is a comedy fantasy film based on the fairy tale Snow White by the Brothers Grimm, directed by Tarsem Singh.

The movie stars Snow White, played by Lily Collins, with Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. The plot is pretty simple. Snow White is locked away by her stepmother, the Evil Queen, who’s basically running the kingdom into the ground while obsessing over her looks and money. Snow White escapes, ends up with a bunch of bandit dwarfs, and they team up to take back the kingdom.

Mirror Mirror is a shy away from being what I would call good enough to beat my chest and say go see it without warning. Because even though the screenplay was well carved to be intriguing, it’s not something I would call original. There have been many adaptations of this story, and this one just feels like one of those things you’ve seen before somewhere. The bad pacing and funny directing decisions didn’t help either. I liked the setup and the beautiful feel of the movie, but the plot direction—like changing who is actually needing saving, Snow White or the Prince—may not be the kind of twist everyone is looking forward to seeing. Plus, the way it is delivered does not make for fine cinema.

Mirror Mirror, to me, was saved by Julia Roberts. Her acting reminded me why she is, and will always remain, one of the best things to happen to the silver screen. She was just in a class of her own and made the other cast members be in her shadow.

Mirror Mirror wasn’t much of a financial success, and it didn’t land well with critics and audiences either. As of the time of writing, it holds only a 50% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But despite that, the film received an Academy Award nomination for Best Costume Design. 

I liked this movie, and I still feel it is a good watch, but I have to warn you not to think you are going to be blind sided or taken unawares by the things happening. It is a bit predictable.

Project X (2012)

 
Project X (2012)

3/10

Starring:
Thomas Mann
Oliver Cooper
Jonathan Daniel Brown
Kirby Bliss Blanton
Alexis Knapp

Directed by: Nima Nourizadeh

Project X is a Project F.

From the stables of the man that brought us Hangover, Todd Phillips, comes this disgrace of a movie. It's meant to be a found footage kind of thing, but the film just has a pack of fools running around with nothing but orgy on their mind.

The question that runs through my mind is, “who packs lame excuses, blunt-minded, hooligan-thinking, dumb-looking, stupid-sounding stooges together and thinks a movie is about to be made?”
Well, the producers did, and they were so pumped about the idea that there may be a sequel.

Some people actually enjoyed this movie, which is a surprise to me because I can’t seem to understand how anybody would watch this and like it.

Project X has the simplest plot ever. Three guys decide to throw a party so they can get laid, and as usual, things get out of hand. That’s all folks. Every other thing in the movie comes from using cliché scenes, music video-style acting, and lame dialogue to fill up time.

You will think I am short handing you with this plot, but the above lines are actually the whole plot, there is no character development, no depth to anything, just horny boys.

The editing was whack and out of bounce. Continuity was lacking a master’s touch.
Directing could have been done by a toddler, because I was wondering while watching if the director fell asleep on his head.

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh, an advertisement director, who gave some of the cast iPhones and BlackBerry devices to capture scenes that ended up in the final cut. Editing was done by merging those phone clips with proper camera shots.

The movie was shot in 25 nights and, sorry to say, it was a commercial success.
It holds a 27% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The movie was made on a $12 million budget and went on to make over $100 million, including good DVD sales.

My final take is, don’t watch this. It contains nudity and cursing all over the place, and not even a plan to entertain you, unless that’s the kind of thing you find entertaining and a good plot is not even on your mind. The acting is not spectacular and sometimes poor from even the main cast themselves.

Project X has a lot missing, and some of it is common sense. The funny part is that Warner Bros actually ordered a sequel, so very soon we should be expecting Project X 2.

Dr Seuss' The Lorax (2012)

 
Dr Seuss' The Lorax (2012)

6/10

Starring (Voice)
Danny DeVito
Zac Efron
Taylor Swift


Directed by Chris Renaud and Kyle Balda

The film is the fourth feature film based on a book by Dr. Seuss, the second Dr. Seuss adaptation to be fully computer-animated after Horton Hears a Who!, and the first released in 3D. Probably not one of the best adaptations. The distribution company, Universal Pictures, released the film on March 2nd, 2012, the 108th birthday of Seuss.

The movie made a mess of what Disney/Pixar did with WALL-E (2008). WALL-E passed the message of our environment depleting with the aid of a love story and what I believed could not be possible — robots with no words making a classic must-see movie. WALL-E was like a silent film animation, and it for me it is one of the best animations you can see.

The Lorax too tries to achieve something similar (showing a depleting earth with a love story), but it was too watered down to be noticed. The movie follows the laid-down plot of the book about a 12-year-old boy's search for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. On his quest to find that one thing, he stumbles on the story of the Lorax.

The Lorax is a grumpy orange-like creature whose main task is to protect the earth (when I say earth, I mean the forest and woods) from destruction. How he manages to handle his love story, with the story of the Lorax, is what this movie wants you to come and see.

The studio responsible for this is Illumination Entertainment, which brought you the much-acclaimed Despicable Me, and it was directed by Chris Renaud (Despicable Me). The voice casting was well done, it is well casted, and it lures you into enjoying the movie.

The Lorax is a colourful movie with singing and dancing, all well enough for a kid to enjoy. So if you want a movie for your kids, go see this.

But you have to give kudos to Danny DeVito. To me, the only thing I enjoyed most about the movie was hearing him speak. He brought life into a movie that seemed to be missing out on all things good.

The Lorax was received with mixed reviews, but it was a commercial success.

This movie is neither great nor grand. Dr. Seuss: The Lorax is a movie that will not make you plan a second visit to the cinema to see it again, one major reason for that is the bad pacing and slow start. The Lorax sometimes feels like its dragging its way to the good parts, and the movie to me is one that only a matured mind will be able to understand. So for me to say this is a movie you will not mind skipping, know that I mean it.

John Carter (2012)

John Carter (2012)

8/10

Starring
Taylor Kitsch
Lynn Collins
Samantha Morton
Mark Strong
Ciarán Hinds
Thomas Haden Church

Directed by Andrew Stanton

This is a movie too good not to be seen. If you haven’t seen it or haven’t made plans to, you better start making plans right now.

There is but one problem with John Carter — it’s not evenly paced. One moment we’re thrilled by the intense action and fast-paced motion, then suddenly we’re dragged down into slow-paced dialogues. But in all that, I guarantee enough fun and thrill to last you all the 2 hours spent.

With well-jotted-down dialogues (which at times seemed too well jotted and actually was annoying) and intensifying fight scenes, John Carter boasts of what happens when a CGI cartoon-making director crosses over to make a fantasy sci-fi movie. Directed and written by Andrew Stanton, whose previous work includes the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo (2003) and WALL-E (2008).

Andrew Stanton is making his live-action directorial debut here. He worked around the kinks in the story by Edgar Rice Burroughs and provided a straight line so you don’t get lost wondering what’s happening.

The story is as plain as the one in the book but differs in some areas. Captain John Carter is a retired soldier digging for gold before being captured by the army and asked to return to service.

Carter escapes and hides in a cave. While there, he comes across a man who tries to stab him. Carter shoots him dead. The man drops a medallion, which John picks up. The dying man starts chanting something, which Carter interrupts, and just like that, he’s transported to Barsoom.

There, he notices he can jump really far and has enormous strength. All that doesn’t matter when he’s captured by some aliens named Tarkas. He’s placed under the care of one of the women and is fed something that lets him speak and understand Martian. Soon, John finds himself caught in the middle of a war between rival aliens on Barsoom, all trying to take control and kill each other. He’s left wishing he could just get back to Earth and continue his dig for gold.

Watch out for the part where John leads an army to go rescue the princess — you’ll laugh your head off. This movie was supposed to kick off a franchise, but due to its poor box office run, Disney might be shelving this one for many years to come.

Is the movie better than the book? That’s left for you to decide. John Carter is making his centennial reign in this 2012 Disney masterpiece, based on the first of the 11 books by Edgar Rice Burroughs titled Princess of Mars (1912).

The blend between the CGI and the environment is a trick Disney has mastered, and it’s well deployed here. The characters weren’t short of breathtaking either.

John Carter was played by Taylor Kitsch, best known for his role as Tim Riggins in the NBC television series Friday Night Lights, who arguably performed better than anyone else on screen. The Princess was played by Lynn Collins, and Willem Dafoe voiced Tars Tarkas.