Spawn (1997)

 Spawn (1997)

7/10

Starring

Michael Jai White

John Leguizamo

Martin Sheen

Theresa Randle

Directed by Mark A.Z. Dippé

I can't, I just can't. You have no idea how cool movies were in the 90s, the one-punch kills, the silly effects, those times when talking a certain way with silly one-liners was the thing.

Every time I sit to watch an old 90s movie, like I did watching Spawn, I am taken to a new world. My attention locks in, sucked into the nostalgia, when a frown and a one-liner were all you needed to tell everyone you're the cool protagonist. Spawn is just all that.

This movie got laid into for the liberty it took drifting away from the comics, but I liked it back then, and seeing it now, I still like it. The acting was cool, the characters had intent, and Michael Jai White as Spawn was given to us with so much pain, his portrayal was cool. I felt this movie should have had two more parts to complete the whole feel of the war between heaven and hell.

If you haven't seen Spawn by now, don't, unless you love 90s action films, then you'll love this.

The plot follows Al Simmons, a government assassin who was murdered and sent to hell for his sins. He's sent back as a Hell Spawn, with a handler, The Violator, played by John Leguizamo, and if you know him, you'll love him here. His acting in the fat suit was amazing. Spawn is sent back to lead Hell's warriors and bring forth Armageddon.

The thing with Spawn is, he came back with his memories and just wanted the life he had back, his life with his wife Wanda, who by the time he came back from hell had moved on, with no one other than his best friend.

So what you are watching is a man meant to be on the side of hell, fighting to be on the side of just being left alone to grieve the loss of his life.

The fighting in this movie is with guns, less with hands, and the thing that always stays with me is the cape, the cape effect in this movie is something to see. Don't judge it with the eyes of 2026 and all that Marvel polish, judge it with the eyes of a kid watching this in 1997.

All that said, the story does feel rushed as there is a thin understanding between the fight of Heaven and Hell. Then when it comes to the side characters, they are thinly written, this movie feels like it needed two more parts to breath and deliver.

Now, if you have not seen the animated series that followed this movie, then please do.

It is dark, mature viewing, 18 episodes across three seasons that do better justice to the comics than the movie did. But that said, this is a classic 90s movie that gave me nostalgia overload.

And I recommend it any day for anyone who loves the 90s.

Memories (1995)

 

Memories (1995)

 

8/10

Starring the voices of 

Tsutomu Isobe

Shouzou Iizuka

Kouichi Yamadera

 

Directed by:

Kōji Morimoto (Magnetic Rose)

Tensai Okamura (Stink Bomb)

Katsuhiro Otomo (Chief, Cannon Fodder)

 

Memories is not your typical anime anthology, it is three completely different sci-fi stories that somehow work together to give you something unforgettable. The movie has a nice Japanese voice cast and wonderful score.

A friend suggested it, and I took my time to see it, and I can tell you I will not forget this gem. There are some amazing anime classics from the 90s that I am just getting to know, and this is one of them.

The first story in this anthology is called Magnetic Rose, and that story alone is enough reason to see this film. It is a psychological horror that gives off Alien (Ripley) vibes.

Magnetic Rose is about space salvagers who pick up a distress call. They respond by going to a space station located somewhere they have never been before, and all around this station is what looks like a spaceship graveyard. Two of the crew members, Heintz and Miguel, go onboard, only to discover it is haunted by the memories of a dead opera singer.

In just 45 minutes you get characters you actually care about like Heintz, who is grieving over his daughter, Miguel losing himself in the illusions, and it all feels so heavy and so real. Most movies cannot build this much in two hours, but here you are watching it unfold, and it is terrifying and beautiful all at once.

Then the second story, Stink Bomb, comes at you from a completely different angle. A lab worker pops the wrong pills and suddenly he is a walking bioweapon, killing thousands just by existing, while having no clue what is happening. The dark comedy works so well because the man is just clueless, while the government and military are running around like headless chickens trying to stop him. It is funny, sad, and scary all at the same time.

The third story, Cannon Fodder, is like stepping into a dystopian painting. A city built only to fire cannons at an enemy we never see, where every single person’s life is wrapped up in this endless machine of war. It is animated as one continuous shot, which makes it suffocating to watch, like you are trapped in that city with them.

The animation across the three is insane for 1995. Each story has its own look, for instance, Magnetic Rose is lush and operatic, Stink Bomb feels cartoonish but dark, and Cannon Fodder is grimy and industrial, like living inside a war poster.

Now, here is the thing, the problem with Memories is that Magnetic Rose is such a masterpiece that the other two can feel weaker next to it. They are good, don’t get me wrong, but the first one sets the bar so high it is almost unfair. Also, Cannon Fodder is just 15 minutes long, so just when you are fully inside that world, it ends.

This is a wonderful anime to see, and I can guarantee that even the weakest of the stories will entertain you.

 

 

Perfect Blue (1997)

 

Perfect Blue (1997)

 

8/10

Starring the voices of 

Junko Iwao

Rica Matsumoto

Shiho Niiyama

Masaaki Okura

 

Directed by Satoshi Kon

 

Perfect Blue is not your normal anime, it is an anime that strives to be better than just your typical genre. It delves deep into mental health challenges, the high price paid to be famous, the challenges of letting others take control of your life decisions, and to me it does it well.

This is not an anime for children. The themes covered in this work are stylized to just make you want to either quiver, or applaud.

If you are watching it for the first time, you will be engulfed in the intense journey of Mima, a pop idol who decides to step away from music and transition into acting. This decision is pushed by her manager and her agent, who see acting as a way to make her more popular and make more money.

What follows during this transition is a descent into paranoia and fear, with blurred lines between reality and hallucination, as Mima tries to navigate the price of reinvention in an industry that feeds on her image.

Satoshi Kon’s direction in this work is brilliant. You can see how carefully he crafted every shot to make you, the viewer, feel the unease of not knowing what is real and what is imagined. This psychological horror also uses a fantastic score to push the eerie feeling even further.

The characters feel alive and broken at the same time. Mima’s struggles are laid bare before us, raw and uncut, pulling you into her world of obsessive fans.

One strength of this anime is how unpredictable it is if you are watching for the first time. The twists and the psychological tension never let up, and by the time you get to the reveal, it feels earned, but also disturbing. That said, the pacing might feel heavy for some viewers, especially in the middle parts where the story purposely drags you into Mima’s confusion.

Then there are parts that felt off, like the photographer making her take those pictures, which to me felt forced, written only to add unnecessary trauma. I feel that role of victim could have been anyone else on set, to tie her mental breakdown more directly to what she is shooting.

Overall, Perfect Blue is unsettling, powerful, and unforgettable. It is not a comfort watch, but it is a good one. If you want anime that challenges you, makes you question reality, and leaves you thinking long after the credits roll, this is one to see.

Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult (1994)

Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult (1994)

4/10

Starring          

Leslie Nielsen

 

Directed by Peter Segal

 

Now for this movie, the best part is the Academy Awards parody. I really liked it so much, but that was it for me. This movie relied heavily on Nielsen's comedic style and dialogue to carry the movie, which he did his best and as expected his acting was A-class, but his work to me was not enough to save this movie. Acting from everyone else was ok, except Presley’s performance, it was even worse here than the previous two. I never thought that would be possible.

My main issue here is the plot and the middle part of the movie. I could not get why it dragged so long, and it was filled with so much parody of other movies and silly things that just made for a boring sit while I waited for the movie to end, but once more the ending part I really liked, i.e. the Academy Awards parody.

I saw all these movies back in the 90s, so I cannot recall much of anything about their plots, but now rewatching them one after the other, the plot in this movie is so bad, it made the plot in the first movie look solid.

Here in this movie, Frank (Nielsen) has decided to retire from the Police Squad, but retirement is not working out well for him because he misses the job.

Months into his retirement he is visited by Ed Hocken and Nordberg, who ask for his help with an investigation into a famous bomber called Rocco Dillon. Rocco is currently incarcerated, so Frank has to go undercover to meet Rocco's girlfriend, Tanya Peters, to see if he can get some information from her. This undercover work led to him having scars, which Jane (now his wife) finds and starts to accuse him of returning to the Police Squad. Frank lies and swears he is having an affair (yes, I typed this right). But Jane does not believe him and leaves him.

Frank, now alone, decides to continue the investigation into Rocco and goes undercover in the maximum security prison where Rocco is held to see if he can get some more information from him. So now the movie is about Frank working undercover with Rocco to know where he has planted the bomb.

Like I said, the movie felt more like a rehash of many of the gags I have seen Frank do, and the whole plot did not have any twist at all for Frank. In the first movie he did not trust Jane, thinking she was working with the bad guy and in the second one, there was a duplicate Dr. Meinheimer, but here, the plot is simple and easy and just did not hit the mark for me.

Well, if you want to see all the Naked Gun movies before the new one by Liam Neeson, go ahead. If you want to see good parody movies, just watch the first two.

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)

 

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)

 

6/10

Starring          

Leslie Nielsen

Directed by David Zucker

 

The first Naked Gun, I have seen numerous times, so a lot of the things that happened are things I knew and expected to happen. The second Naked Gun, this one, is not as fresh in my mind as the first, so in the opening scene where Frank almost knocks out the wife of the president, I almost fell down laughing, because for one thing, I did not see that coming.

Now that was the only aspect of this movie I did not see coming. To be honest, this particular movie is very predictable, and the laughs were few and far between. Coming off the first film to see this one makes you aware of the antics that can happen, and you are somewhat prepared.

One thing is certain, when it comes to performances, Nielsen was still magnificent in his role, and I think his performance in the movie made up for where this lacks in comparison to the first, and pushes it to be just as good. Like in the first movie, some of the stunts are clearly someone else, but when it is him, his natural charisma that comes with the character Frank Drebin shines through. His oblivious way of going about his day causing havoc is just amazing to behold.

At the White House, Frank is being recognized for his killing of 1,000 people (remember, this is a slapstick, over-the-top comedy), and also, President George H. W. Bush announces that he will base the country's energy policy on the recommendations of Dr. Meinheimer. This upsets a lot of people, as Dr. Meinheimer plans to advocate for renewable energy. Now, his girl from part 1, Jane Spencer, is dating Hexagon Oil executive Quentin Hapsburg, and Frank becomes exceedingly jealous.

This is one aspect of the movie that runs alongside the other aspect, where the bad guy sets off a bomb where Meinheimer works. While Frank is investigating this and being distracted by his jealousy, before we know it, Meinheimer is kidnapped and Frank and the Police Squad must find a way to save him.

The movie has the return of some of the previous cast members like O.J. Simpson and Priscilla Presley. Simpson seems to have upped his acting game, while Presley is still far from the mark.

As much as this movie does not hit the mark as hard as the first, it still made me laugh and smile as I watched Frank get himself in and out of trouble and somehow, by one miracle, saves the day.

Is the second movie worth seeing? Yes, it is. It is not half bad, to me it is just as good as the first, same kind of rating.

 

Starship Troopers (1997)

Starship Troopers (1997)

4/10

Starring          

Casper Van Dien

Dina Meyer

Denise Richards

Jake Busey

Neil Patrick Harris     

 

Directed by Paul Verhoeven

 

Starship Troopers is one of those movies I struggle to remember. I saw it when I was young a couple of times, and still, it never stuck in my memory. Even after seeing it now, regardless of the growing recognition, the bad acting by the central cast — which, for the money spent on the production, is inexcusable — still stands out. If it was just one person, it would be alright, but many of the main cast, who get enough screen time, acted like they were in a school play.

Then the special effects were poor. The story idea is totally off. So you need to serve in a war before you can get the right to vote or procreate? Wow. I could not think of anything sillier.

Some say this is satire. Hmm. Which it kind of is, based on the propaganda ad we see at the start of the movie. I still think the story idea is silly. That just adds to the other problems in the movie. Plus the length and the too-much romantic drama made this, for me, once more forgettable. I could not find one thing to hold on to and say, hmm, this is what makes the movie really stand out in my memory.

Now that said, if you can get over the whole cringy, annoying first half, ignore the bad acting from the central cast and the flimsy effects, the second half of the movie is about fighting — which is the one thing I liked. When they had to take on the bugs, I liked that part. Funny enough, even seeing that now still didn’t bring back memories of watching this movie, even though I liked that second part.

The plot is this: in the future, the world is governed by the United Citizen Federation. Citizenship is earned exclusively through federal service, which grants rights like the ones I mentioned above. Humans can now travel the galaxy, and we’re in a constant interstellar battle with insectoid creatures called Arachnids.

Rico, the central character, joins the military because of a girl — who later breaks up with him after falling in love with someone else. Rico makes a mistake that leads to the death of another cadet and tries to drop out, but rejoins when the Arachnids attack Earth, killing his parents.

Then the real action starts. The Mobile Infantry gets dropped onto a Bug planet thinking they’re just going to flex some muscle, but the Bugs tear them apart. It’s not even close. The humans discover the Arachnids have a brain bug that controls the others, and that becomes the new mission. So they send Rico and the rest of his unit, who are now practically a suicide squad, into a massive Bug tunnel system to capture this thing.

So that’s what the movie is about. For me, it’s one of those films that’s long for no reason, has too many turning knobs trying to add drama and realism, but all I get is a B-movie trying to be more than it is.

Now, I’ll say: see it if you haven’t. But keep all this in mind and ask yourself if it’s still worth it.

Hardware (1990)

Hardware (1990)

4/10

 

Starring          

Dylan McDermott

Stacey Travis

John Lynch

William Hootkins

 

Directed by Richard Stanley

 

Imagine a movie about the future with no intro, no write-up of how we got to this dystopian setup, and you the viewer just watching, waiting for some kind of information about what is going on and why.

The movie starts with all these funny setups, with conversations going on about what is happening in front of you, which does no good, because I have eyes and I’m seeing what is happening. I’m more curious about how we got to this point.

I think the set design is not bad though. I like the way computers are still relevant in this future, but even they are falling apart, which adds to the decadence of this future. After all that, get ready for bad dialogue, a very slow-paced beginning, and a painfully obvious view of what a low-budget dystopian movie looks like. But I have to hand it to the production design and the director for their ingenuity in this production.

Halfway into this movie, it switches to what I can best describe as a Terminator-type vomit, like the writers liked what James Cameron did with Terminator and just wanted something like that in their film. There is so much going on in this movie that has no backstory or even reason.

Here is the plot. In this future, there are scavengers, and one of them is Moses, who goes to sell the things he picked up. There, he meets another scavenger who also brings his metal wares to sell. What he brought was like robot parts, which Moses buys off him and gives to a girl he likes, Jill. She lives in a form of self-isolation, constantly being disturbed and stalked. She likes her present, and Moses gets to stay the night. He gets a call telling him to bring the entire robot parts back. He leaves, leaving the robot part behind, then the robot self-repairs and goes after Jill, trying to kill her in her home. Moses gets to his dealer’s place to find him dead, suspects it has to do with the robot, and now has to get back to Jill to try and save her from what he does not yet understand.

It is funny how the above synopsis is the entire movie. I don’t know if I should have a spoiler alert in this review. There’s no point.

In the end, I was like meh. I struggled to fully grasp the fun this movie is supposed to offer. I didn’t like the acting, and the whole dark setup with bad light flashes trying to create a scary feel just made it hard to see what was happening. I was more irritated than impressed, by this claustrophobic badly lit movie.

I think some movies are best left unseen. This is one of them. It is best left unseen if you have not seen it yet.

The Craft (1996)

The Craft (1996)

 

7/10

Starring

Fairuza Balk

Robin Tunney

Neve Campbell

Rachel True

Directed by Andrew Fleming

 

The Craft was a rebel of the ’90s. Nowadays, when we talk about an all-female cast and women being in charge, it often has to be about power—flipping the narrative that they can do what men can. I’m all for this, but some movies go overboard, focusing more on the message than the story itself. The Craft did it right, and the best part? It did it in the ’90s.

This movie refused to be just another teen flick. Instead of cliché romance arcs, it dove into the dark, supernatural consequences of dabbling with power you can’t control—and boy, did it leave a mark. I never forgot about this movie.

One person that stands out is Fairuza Balk. Her performance as Nancy Downs was nothing short of amazing. If female rage had a face, hers was it. Her performance was so so good that it eclipsed the rest of the cast. Sure, we have Neve Campbell fresh off Scream and Robin Tunney as the protagonist, but Balk? Was an unbelievable masterclass in acting on display.

I first saw The Craft in 1997. I remember expecting another Scream-like movie, but I was not expecting witchcraft.

The plot follows four girls who form a coven—at the time, I had no idea what that was. Their group was built on shared misery and sadness about their lives. They had problems in school with bullies, racism, slander, and being overlooked.

Their collective misery was the sticky tape that bonded them together. Add a shared love for witchcraft, and they decided to dabble in it. Tapping into ancient magic, they wanted to reshape their lives. At first, it was fun—getting revenge on bullies, manifesting dream crushes, reviving dead pets. But as they soon learn, the universe always collects its debts.

The film plays on the saying, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and we witness Nancy’s trauma twist even common desires into something evil.

Director Andrew Fleming did a good job with this ’90s Gothic horror film. The visuals—smoky rituals, flickering candles, and that iconic light as a feather levitation scene—are forever memories that bring back the nostalgia of my childhood.

The movie does have its flaws. While Balk’s performance is iconic, the other characters occasionally feel underwhelming. Their arcs (Bonnie and Rochelle) wrap up too neatly and conveniently in the end so the movie can focus on the battle between Sarah and Nancy. Plus, the film has pacing is uneven. The first half pours tension into the story, but the climax rushes through things. It is evident that the ending was not well thought through, leaving you the viewer with an anticlimactic feeling.

Is The Craft a perfect movie? No. But its flaws are part of its charm. This isn’t a polished studio production—it’s a messy anthem for anyone who’s ever felt like an outsider. It has a very memorable line, "we are the weirdos, mister".

I like the fact that we don’t get a “and they lived happily ever after” ending.

Decades later, The Craft remains a cult classic, not just for its nostalgia factor but for its audacity. It’s a time capsule of ’90s rebellion.

I highly recommend it for lovers of gothic movies.

Back to the Future Part III (1990)

 Back to the Future Part III (1990)

7/10

Starring

Michael J Fox

Christopher Lloyd

Mary Steenburgen

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

I guess we’ve seen the present, the future, the past—so what’s left? Back to the Future Part III lassos its way into the Wild West. This is the part I’ve seen the most, because it was the one most shown on local TV back home. Of the three, it’s the one I liked least, even though it rounds off the classic trilogy. Directed by Robert Zemeckis, with Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd back as Marty and Doc, this finale slows down the frantic energy coming off Part II. The whole idea is that the trilogy is one big film, so Part III continues right where Part II leaves off.

The plot is all about saving Doc. Picking up right where Part II ended, Marty discovers Doc has been sent 70 years into the past—to 1885—thanks to a letter delivered to them. Using details from Doc’s 1885 letter, Marty teams up with the 1955 Doc to track down and fix the DeLorean so he can bring Doc back to 1985. But things take a turn when Marty stumbles on a tombstone with Doc’s name, revealing he was shot by Biff Tannen’s great-grandfather, Buford “Mad Dog” Tannen, just six days after writing the letter.

As expected, the chemistry between Fox and Lloyd remains the series’ backbone, delivering fantastic acting. Even Clara (played by Mary Steenburgen) was well portrayed. The effects in this movie are amazing, especially the ending with the train Doc worked on.

The reason this is my least favorite? The pacing. It stumbles compared to the others. No more multi-timeline acrobatics—instead, we get a straightforward Western romp, everything happening in 1885. Even though it’s still fun to watch, that intensity we feel from time-travel gymnastics and things not adding up—needing to sort it out—isn’t present here. Then there’s the romance between Doc and Clara. Though sweet, it eats up screen time that could’ve gone to Doc and Marty’s dynamic—the real heart of the trilogy.

Tonally, the film wobbles. One minute, we’re dodging bullets in a saloon shootout, the next, Doc’s speaking poetically about love under the stars. The shift from sci-fi to Western isn’t seamless—Part III feels like a genre detour, not a natural progression.

Also, the movie’s vision of 1885 is about as historically accurate as a TikTok cowboy influencer. Doc inventing things with 1885 tech stretches realism.

Regardless, it’s still a good movie. It lacks the punch of Part I and the chaotic charm of Part II, yet it sticks the landing emotionally—I’ll give it that. If you’re here for Marty and Doc’s bromance, you’ll leave with a smile. If you’re craving time-travel shenanigans, you might yawn into your popcorn.

Life (1999)

Life (1999)

6/10

Starring

Eddie Murphy

Martin Lawrence

 

Directed by Ted Demme

 

 

I like Life. It’s a good movie with an amazing soundtrack, but also a sad one that reflects how things were in the '70s, where being Black and in the wrong place at the wrong time could land you in serious trouble. It’s not that things have changed drastically now, but being Black back then was far worse than it is today.

This is a comedy, and at the time of its release, Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence were household names. Pairing them together in a movie seemed like a surefire way to bring in box-office success, but this film wasn’t a commercial hit, even though it was a critical one measurably. It’s easy to see why when you watch it—it’s a comedy, but a bittersweet one. The writing is fantastic, and the plot is incredibly engaging because you’re hooked on seeing how these two characters will find a way out of the mess they’re in. It is well directed, with dialogues that keep you smiling and never letting you down.

The movie’s plot is framed as a story told by a fellow inmate about two friends, Ray (Eddie Murphy) and Claude (Martin Lawrence), who were wrongfully convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.
We learn that they didn’t start off as friends. They were brought together by circumstances beyond their control—basically, a string of bad luck. Ray and Claude were supposed to clear their individual debts by working for a gangster to smuggle illegal alcohol.

During the job, the two get sidetracked, and Ray loses his watch to a hustler. When they try to leave, they find the hustler dead, and before they can say a word, they’re framed for his murder.
They’re sentenced to life with hard labor. Knowing they’re innocent, Ray and Claude refuse to just sit back and rot in jail. They start working on escape plans, none of which succeed. They even try to do things the legit way by helping a promising baseball player, but that doesn’t work either.

Stuck in prison with no hope of getting out, the two eventually stop talking to each other. After years of silence, with Ray still scheming to escape, they finally decide to reconnect.
This reconciliation doesn’t happen easily, but how they rebuild their friendship and navigate life in prison is something you’ll have to see for yourself.

As I said, the movie is sad, though some might see the ending as happy. For me, it was bittersweet.

A League of Their Own (1992)

A League of Their Own (1992)

8/10

 

Starring

Tom Hanks

Geena Davis

Madonna

Lori Petty

 

Directed by Penny Marshall

 

Some movies deserve their due, and A League of Their Own stands tall as one of the ’90s’ finest gems. I’m still buzzing from the infectious energy, heartfelt drama, and powerhouse performances this film delivers.

With a knockout cast—Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, Madonna, and Rosie O’Donnell—it’s a masterclass in acting, guided by Penny Marshall’s sharp, empathetic direction. While I’m not entirely sure how closely it sticks to real history, I know it’s a fictionalized take on the origins of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL). And honestly? It works. The movie struck gold both critically and commercially, backed by a pitch-perfect score. You can’t sit through this movie and not walk away with a smile.

Set during World War II, the film explores how Major League Baseball faced collapse with so many men off at war. To keep the sport alive and fill the stands, team owners launched an all-female league.

The heart of the film lies in the rivalry between sisters Dottie (Geena Davis) and Kit (Lori Petty). Dottie, the naturally gifted catcher, radiates calm confidence, while Kit’s fiery determination masks her insecurity. Their dynamic crackles: Kit’s relentless drive to outshine her sister clashes with Dottie’s quieter resolve. And Kit only makes the cut because Dottie negotiated for her to be there—a detail that later fuels their tension even further.

Then we have Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan, a washed-up MLB star turned reluctant coach, delivering the now-iconic line: “There’s no crying in baseball!” The women face hurdles both on and off the diamond—societal judgment, personal sacrifices, and the pressure to prove themselves in a man’s world.

What I adore is how the film celebrates choice. Some characters embrace independence; others yearn for traditional roles.

That said, A League of Their Own is a great movie, but it’s not without its flaws. The pacing can be a bit off, with some scenes dragging while others speed through important moments. A few characters, though entertaining, feel more like background players without much depth. The sibling rivalry, while a key part of the story, sometimes takes up so much focus that the larger struggles of the league feel sidelined. And while the movie keeps things light and fun, it smooths over some of the tougher realities these women actually faced, making it feel a bit too polished at times.

To me, this movie is a love letter to resilience and sisterhood.

I highly recommend watching this if you haven’t already.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

 

3/10

Starring

Jim Carrey

 

Directed by Steve Oedekerk

 

If a movie that costs $15 million makes more than eight times its production cost at the box office, you can bet any Hollywood studio will greenlight a sequel. The first Ace Ventura raked in so much money that it was inevitable they’d try it again. The problem? They rushed out a sequel the very next year with a poorly developed script, answering the question we all had: “Is there such a thing as too much Ventura?”
What’s surprising is that this sequel cost twice as much to produce and also made nearly twice as much at the box office, so it was technically a success. The studio wanted to continue, but Carrey did not want to make anymore sequels to the franchise.

When you’re an eccentric on-screen detective who solves cases by stumbling onto solutions like a bumbling fool, that schtick can only work once. Jim Carrey delivered the best performance he could to carry this movie, but it wasn’t enough to make it as good as the first one. His eccentric acting overshadowed the other performances, and the director could’ve done a better job managing that. Additionally, the pacing and tone were off at times.
In this sequel, Ventura is tasked with finding a sacred white bat named Shikaka. The catch? Ventura is terrified of bats.
He travels to a fictional place called Nibia to locate the bat and stop a tribal war between the Wachati and the Wachootoo.

I have to pause here and say, this movie felt insulting. I couldn’t get past how the tribes were portrayed. One of my biggest issues with this film is how it depicted Black people. Even as a kid, I didn’t like it, but watching it now, I detest it with a passion.
As a Black man living in the U.K., I’ve had people act surprised that I can hold a pen and write legibly in English. Movies like this perpetuate the stereotype that Africa is a place where people don’t understand technology or modern life, as if we’re still stuck in the past, wearing leaves and living in huts.

Anyway, back to the plot. Ventura has to eliminate suspects while living among the tribes.
He befriends one of the princes and is constantly pursued by a princess.
How he finds the bat, uncovers the abductors, and stops the tribal war is something you’ll have to watch the movie to find out. But honestly? Skip this one. It doesn’t do justice to the character of Ventura, and its portrayal of Black people is deeply offensive.

One thing I have to say is, I am surprised that this franchise has not gotten a reboot yet. There are many other stories they can explore, and I think the fear is, how will a very sensitive generation of today, handle the way this movie character plays onscreen

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

7/10

 Starring

Jim Carrey

Sean Young

Courteney Cox

 

Directed by Tom Shadyac

 

For kids growing up in the '90s, comedies were a blast, and Jim Carrey owned the era with movies like The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, and later, Liar Liar. We were young, and we loved every minute of it.
The premise of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is what makes it so hilarious. It’s so far-fetched that you might wonder how anyone could take it seriously, but somehow, it works as a genuinely funny movie.

Yes, the character Ace Ventura is a pet detective. He’s eccentric, over-the-top, and specializes in solving cases involving animals.
The main plot revolves around the Miami Dolphins’ mascot, a bottlenose dolphin named Snowflake, who’s stolen just weeks before the Super Bowl. As Ventura investigates, his chaotic, over the top behaviour, clashes with the police. Ventura has to solve the case before the big game.

The movie plays out like a classic private detective story—hated by the police, with only one officer, Detective Lois Einhorn, seemingly on his side.
His investigations are wild and chaotic, which makes up for the lack of method in his routine. He checks a shark tank, interrogates players, and suspects practically everyone. Eventually, he stumbles upon a key suspect he couldn’t find earlier, piecing together clues to reveal that someone isn’t who they claim to be.

The movie is like a monkey on steroids, jumping from one absurd scenario to another, throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks.
In the end, we’re left with a hilarious resolution to the case.

The film was a box-office success, earning over $100 million from a $15 million production budget.
This success led Jim Carrey to sign on for a sequel, despite claiming he doesn’t like doing sequels. But judging by Dumb and Dumber To and his involvement in the Sonic the Hedgehog movies, it seems that stance has changed.

This is a fun movie to watch anytime, but be warned: you’re in for an eccentric Jim Carrey performance. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective leans entirely on Jim Carrey’s wild performance—hilarious to many but over-the-top to the point of exhaustion for some. The slapstick humor and juvenile jokes haven’t aged well, especially with certain gags and how some characters are handled. While the plot is fun, it’s really just a setup for Carrey’s antics rather than a solid mystery, making it feel a bit flimsy at times.
Back in the day, there was even an animated Ace Ventura series where he solved more cases and did even more over-the-top antics. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth checking out!

The movie production must have been a blast, and it’s impossible to watch this film without realizing that Jim Carrey likely improvised a lot of his lines. He was even allowed to help rewrite some scenes and dialogue.
What’s also fun to know is that when casting wasn’t going as planned, the filmmakers considered rewriting the script to turn Ventura into a woman and cast Whoopi Goldberg in the role. Imagine how different that would’ve been!

The Bachelor (1999)

The Bachelor (1999)

 

3/10

Starring

Chris O’Donnell

Renée Zellweger

Hal Holbrook

James Cromwell

 

Directed by Gary Sinyor

 

You get to see a man willing to do anything to claim the inheritance his grandfather left for him. The condition? He must get married and stay married for a decade to secure the $100 million estate. Nothing screams cliché like this 90s movie, and honestly, how is this even meant to be romantic?

Renée Zellweger was the main show in this movie, everyone else acted like the money is the reason they are here.

Jimmie (Chris O'Donnell), the man set to inherit the fortune, is willing to marry anyone to keep the money, except commit to Annie (Renée Zellweger), the one person he truly loves. It’s baffling how this movie attempts to position itself as romantic. You will enjoy seeing all the cameos from various female actresses, comedians, and musicians. They take center stage as Jimmie scrambles to find a bride, only for all of them to turn him down.

No wonder this movie has a terrible Rotten Tomatoes rating. The writing is awful, the premise is unrealistic, and Jimmie’s choices border on outright stupidity.

The movie revolves around Jimmie and his love for Annie. He craves bachelorhood and never wants to settle down. His determination grows stronger when his friends get married, leaving him single and isolated. Eventually, he proposes to Annie in the most romantic spot in town—but with a botched, thoughtless proposal, Annie says no and begins reconsidering their relationship. Soon after, Jimmie’s grandfather dies, leaving him the estate, contingent on the marriage condition.

From there, Jimmie races against time to find a bride. With a looming deadline, the woman he loves rejecting him, and his inheritance and business at stake, he reaches out to women from his past, hoping one will say yes.

The movie's ending only worsens the absurdity: Jimmie runs through the streets, chased by hundreds of women in wedding dresses, all eager to marry him for his money. Yet, as romantic comedies go, the writers find a way to spin this chaos into a happy ending. Annie returns, delivering one of the most ridiculous speeches to claim her man.

I saw this movie back in the 90s and always wondered why I never revisited it or why I couldn’t remember much about it. Watching it again now, I understand. Some movies are best left as memories. Trying to uncover why my brain blocked out so much of this film has officially ruined my morning and the idea that I had of this movie. It was a waste of time to see it again, and I beg anyone who thinks this is a good movie to see, should find something else to do.

Michael (1996)

Michael (1996)

3/10

Starring

John Travolta

Andie MacDowell

William Hurt

Bob Hoskins

Robert Pastorelli

 

Directed by Nora Ephron

 

When I was much younger and saw Michael, I could not fully understand or pinpoint what was off, but I knew the film didn't have the same impact I expected from a John Travolta movie.

I blamed it on my younger self's inability to fully comprehend the film, but now, as an adult, I can confidently say that Michael is one of the most pointless films about an angel I’ve ever seen.

Are you seriously telling me that the archangel Michael is so jobless that his mission on Earth is to make two people fall in love? Is this really the most important task in his divine agenda?

Now that the two of them are in love, it did not solve world hunger, or bring about world peace, just two new lovebirds, who if they have children will add to the growing overpopulation of the world.

The story is so disjointed and lacking any cohesive elements that I can’t fathom how I let my sister convince me to rewatch it. She didn’t find it entertaining either, but she insisted on seeing it because, as children, we were both huge John Travolta fans.

So, what exactly is Michael about? Well, for anyone lucky enough to have missed this film, here’s a quick rundown:

Michael follows the archangel Michael (played by Travolta), who descends to Earth to help an elderly woman with her problems. At the start, two well-known journalists from the National Mirror are tasked with getting Michael to Chicago. When they finally meet him, they quickly realize that Michael has other reasons for being on Earth, and he specifically chose to travel with these three individuals. Along for the ride are Frank and Huey, the journalists, and Dorothy, a woman who their boss claims is an "angel expert."

Upon meeting Michael, they are shocked by his behavior and the way he speaks. Michael is staying with the woman he’s come to help, and despite his divine status, he decides to accompany them to Chicago.

Instead of flying, Michael insists on a road trip, refusing to have his picture taken until they reach Chicago. The rest of the film follows their journey, revealing that Michael, though an angel, harbors personal desires and intentions beyond simply helping those in need.

Michael’s actions and mannerisms during the trip aren’t intriguing, but rather borderline irritating. Their stops along the way seem nonsensical, as Michael’s decisions defy any logical explanation.

It felt like watching a horny angel trying to sleep around.

Avoid this movie at all costs if you value your sanity and probably your innocence.