Spiderhead (2022)

Spiderhead (2022)

2/10

 Starring

Chris Hemsworth

Miles Teller

Jurnee Smollett

 

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

 

Another Netflix movie that is not worth your time.

I thought Interceptor (Elsa Pataky) was one of the worst Netflix movies I’d seen in a while, but Chris Hemsworth seemed to say, "Hold my beer." Apparently, his wife’s movie couldn’t be the worst—his had to take that title. Spiderhead is a B-movie with a myopic purpose (if you even try to look at the big picture), no point, and a waste of money on what’s supposed to be a psychological thriller. Anyone with common sense can rip this apart in seconds.

The writer of this movie had a narrow view of the world and based the story on it.

Contains Spoilers

The movie is about a facility where people signed up for a drug program—or at least, that’s what they thought. In reality, they were unknowingly enrolled in a program testing a drug called B-6, which is meant to make you obedient no matter what you feel.

Steve (Hemsworth) runs the facility, testing B-6 alongside other drugs that make you feel things like hunger, pain, or lust. The idea is to see how far he can push people to obey when under the influence of B-6.

The ultimate goal? A world hooked on B-6. But here’s where the logic falls apart. The government is against this plan, and the police are after Steve. Just Steve. Somehow, he thinks he can single-handedly implement a drug that would turn humanity into remote-controlled robots.

How was he going to achieve this by himself? How would the world even be a better place if everyone became mindless?

If the movie had included something like the government working on this drug, ending with a whistleblower exposing everything, it might have made sense. But no—a single guy is supposed to pull this off? Give me a break.

This movie feels like The Manchurian Candidate, except with poor writing, a bad plot, and a director who clearly just wanted a paycheck.

How Steve’s Plan Unravels

Steve’s plan falls apart because he hired someone who wasn’t entirely on board with his vision. One of the volunteers manages to convince this guy, Mark, to turn on Steve.

This twist is one of the laziest ways to introduce a weakness in a villain’s plan. Hire someone who isn’t as deranged as you, then have them flip after someone talks to them. And let’s talk about Mark—the "backstabber." He was fine with all the crimes and experiments happening right in front of him… until someone talked him into flipping. What a useless minion.

Netflix, maybe take a break from making films for a while.

The Duke (2020)

The Duke (2020)

 

6/10

Starring

Jim Broadbent

Helen Mirren

Fionn Whitehead

Anna Maxwell Martin

 

Directed by Roger Michell

 

In 1961, there was a theft in England from the National Gallery of the portrait of the Duke of Wellington painted by Goya. This movie explores the events that led to the theft and return of the painting, although it skips the four-year gap before its return. The painting was stolen by a man named Kempton Bunton.

This movie is funny, especially during the court scene towards the end. The acting is great, and the story is well-crafted, holding your attention as you wonder how Kempton’s various ideas eventually lead to the theft. When the theft occurs, I particularly enjoyed how the movie introduced even more challenges in Kempton’s life, pushing him to resolve the situation by returning the painting.

Jim Broadbent is outstanding in his portrayal of Kempton, and I believe his performance alone makes this movie worth watching. I think he outshines his other cast members, which doesn't add to the movie's strength. Also, the movie does not add anything more intriguing to the story to make it memorable.

The story follows Kempton Bunton (Jim Broadbent), a retiree and (in this movie) a taxi driver. Life is tough for the Buntons, as both Kempton and his wife, Dorothy (Helen Mirren), work hard to put food on the table and care for their sons. Their family also carries a heavy grief: their daughter died tragically in a bicycle accident. Kempton and Dorothy deal with this loss in very different ways—Dorothy prefers not to dwell on it, while Kempton doesn’t want to forget their daughter.

Kempton is deeply involved in various campaigns for the elderly. Throughout his life, he has been a fighter for those who couldn’t fight for themselves. He even went to prison for refusing to pay for TV licenses for the elderly. Dorothy, however, has grown tired of his endless battles and antics. Kempton promises her that his next fight against the government will be his last.

This trip to London ends up leading to the theft of the painting, which Kempton brings home. As authorities search for the stolen painting and offer a reward for its return, Kempton hides it in his house and tries to use it to blackmail the government into donating the painting’s value to charitable causes.

The movie is worth your time and was definitely worth mine.

Note: The incidents in this movie are real. There was a man named Kempton Bunton (1904–1976) who confessed to stealing Francisco Goya's painting, Portrait of the Duke of Wellington, from the National Gallery in London in 1961. However, I don’t believe everything else in the movie actually happened—just the theft itself. Turning this real-life event into an entertaining piece is something to applaud the writer and director for.

Father's Little Dividend (1951)

Father’s Little Dividend (1951)

 7/10

 Starring

Spencer Tracy

Joan Bennett

Elizabeth Taylor

Don Taylor

Billie Burke

 

Directed by Vincente Minnelli

 

As usual, just like the first film from 1950, this movie is narrated by Stanley Banks. The story begins with Stanley Banks (Spencer Tracy) preparing for a big day and reminiscing about events from a year ago. The movie features a fun score, focusing more on comedy compared to the first film, which leaned more towards drama. I enjoyed this movie more than the original and even more than the 1995 remake—odd, considering I loved the 1991 remake of Father of the Bride compared to the 1950 version.

The movie has a nostalgic charm and reminds me of the 1995 remake. If, like me, you grew up watching the Steve Martin version from the 90s, you’ll likely enjoy this one too. I felt this movie had a stronger start than the first film from 1950. Interestingly, the 1995 remake is a closer remake of this film than the 1950 movie is to the 1991 version.

The story begins with Kay (Elizabeth Taylor) inviting the family to her small apartment to share big news: she and Buckley are expecting a baby! While everyone is thrilled, Stanley feels as though his little Kay is slipping further away from him. Both expecting grandmothers suggest the couple live with them, but Kay and Buckley have already bought their own home. Kay’s mother, Ellie (Joan Bennett), is busy decorating their new place, while Buckley’s parents have made space for a nursery in their home. Meanwhile, Stanley grapples with the reality of Kay starting her own family.

Unlike the 1995 remake, which adds a second baby storyline and ends with the birth, this movie continues past the birth, showing Stanley adjusting to life as a grandfather.

In the end, the movie was a fun watch and did a better job with the comedy than the original. As usual, the actors were amazing, though I didn’t enjoy the score as much—it doesn’t quite compare to the 90s soundtrack, which I still think is in a class of its own.

This movie makes me curious about the new Warner Bros. adaptation of the story, which places the family in a Latino setting. Disney is also working on a remake for Disney+, and I hope both adaptations do justice to these classics.

I’m not sure where you can find these older movies to stream, but I recommend watching them if you love the charm of black-and-white films and enjoy talents like Spencer Tracy, Joan Bennett, and Elizabeth Taylor. Or, if you’re like me and love the 90s remakes, you might never get tired of watching them again and again. Either way, I suggest revisiting the 90s remake and do not bother about the 2022 Warner Bros. adaptation.

Father of the Bride (1950)

Father of the Bride (1950)

6/10

Starring

Spencer Tracy

Joan Bennett

Elizabeth Taylor

Don Taylor

Billie Burke

 

Directed by Vincente Minnelli

 

I enjoyed this movie, though not as much as the 1991 remake of the same name starring Steve Martin. I guess I’m a little spoiled from watching the 1991 version so often—it made me miss the soundtrack. This movie doesn’t have a soundtrack, and that played a huge part in why I didn’t love it as much as the remake. Even though the movie was fun, it made me appreciate the men and women who work on movie scores even more.

The plot is similar to the remake, though many of the character names are different. This was my first time seeing the original movie and also my first time seeing Elizabeth Taylor act. Spencer Tracy, as usual, stood head and shoulders above the rest. I loved his portrayal of Stanley Banks, with his knack for acting and his ever-present stinginess. The incredible talent in this movie, with Joan Bennett and others, makes it easy to fall in love with the characters as you watch them navigate Stanley’s attempts to save money while struggling to accept that his little girl is getting married.

The movie begins with the aftermath of the wedding of Kay Banks (Elizabeth Taylor) to Buckley Dunstan (Don Taylor). Stanley is left wondering how his little angel suddenly grew up and became a woman.

From there, Stanley narrates the events that led up to this day. His daughter Kay seems to be in her own little world, which makes Stanley nervous. He begins to suspect a guy is behind it all when Kay starts talking about someone named Buckley, who she believes is the smartest man in the world. Soon, Stanley has to face the reality that Kay is marrying Buckley—and that he’s the one footing the bill for the wedding. Stanley tries everything in his power to cut costs while doing his best not to upset his wife and daughter in the process.

This movie is a timeless gem that can be enjoyed at any time. It earned numerous accolades and Oscar nominations, and it’s featured in the AFI Top 100 Laughs. While I believe the remake beats it hands down, I still appreciate the work this movie put in to pave the way for the remake we know and love.

It was hard finding this movie to watch, so I do not know where you can find it, but please do a search it is worth seeing, if only to compare it with the remake.

Father of the Bride 3-ish (2020)

Father of the Bride 3-ish (2020)

6/10

Starring

Steve Matin

Diane Keaton

Kimberly Williams-Paisley

Kieran Culkin

Florence Pugh

Ben Platt

 

Directed and Written by Nancy Meyers

I don’t know if it was the nostalgia, but I loved seeing the gang back together again. The last time we saw the whole crew was back in Father of the Bride II (1995). Twenty-five years later, we have this warm homage to the classic '90s movie. Even though Father of the Bride (1991) was a remake, for me, the remake beats the original—which is one of those rare occasions that hardly happens.

This Part 3 (ish) was fun. It is twenty-five minutes long and happens on a Zoom call. The Zoom call brings the whole family together, with some newly introduced cast members, such as older Megan Banks (Florence Pugh) and older George Banks-MacKenzie (Annie and Bryan’s son, played by Ben Platt). This takes place during the COVID pandemic, and George Banks (Steve Martin) is overreacting, as you would expect. Nina (Diane Keaton) forces him to stay in the guest room because of his hyperactive behavior. Also on the Zoom call are Annie (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), Matty (Kieran Culkin), and Bryan (George Newbern), all reprising their roles along with Martin and Keaton. On the call, they discuss the pandemic and the reason for the gathering, which was odd because it was Matty who initiated it. If you know this movie, there’s one more person you’d expect to see in the cast list—and yes, Martin Short reprises his role as Frank, joining the Zoom call as well.

In the end, this short is a treat for lovers of the movie and was created to raise money for the pandemic.

The whole thing is meant to be a nostalgic ride for fans of the franchise, but it doesn’t achieve anything substantial. If you're not familiar with or fond of the original ’90s series, this Zoom call reunion won’t appeal to you. While making a reunion via Zoom is challenging due to the difficulty of adding anything new, I believe it could have worked if the producers and directors had put in more effort.

Growing up in Nigeria in the mid-'90s, Channels Television had this wonderful weekend idea of feeding us kids with four movies in the afternoon: Father of the Bride (1991), Father of the Bride II (1995), Casper (1995), and Jumanji (1995). Now grown up, out of the four, the one that still remains a classic for me is Father of the Bride (1991). There is something magical about this movie—watching the family come together, seeing the introduction of Bryan as the man Annie wants to marry, and George losing his mind. This short brought back warm memories of those days—seeing George go off his rocker when he sees the mansion his in-laws live in and the amount of money they can pull. Then there’s the warmth of the musical score that this movie delivers, which is also used in this short. I can never forget those tunes—they’re ingrained in my memory. The first Father of the Bride (1991) lives forever as one of the best films of my childhood.

The second part of the movie, Father of the Bride II (1995), was fun too—seeing the whole gang back together again. The movie did its best to pull on the heartstrings of the original classic, and in the end, it was an enjoyable ride, just like this short.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)

 8/10

Starring

Angela Lansbury

David Tomlinson

Ian Weighill

Cindy O’Callaghan

Roy Snart

 

Directed by Robert Stevenson

 

Whenever I think about Bedknobs and Broomsticks, as a child, I used to see it as Mary Poppins' little brother movie. Both were done by Disney and were just fantastic. Because David Tomlinson was in both, we had both movies, and I loved them. The mix of live-action and animation gave me fun memories of the dream to be free. These movies depict the freedom we crave as children—to travel through a picture to the other side and become part of the world you see. To have a magical bed that can take you to any part of the world, or even out of this world to an island controlled by talking animals. These movies were my childhood, and I cannot recall how many times I saw them growing up.

Seeing this movie now still gives me the same joy I had as a child—maybe no longer wishing to travel through paintings or own a magical bed, but there’s a joy from the nostalgia.
The story is well-crafted to create excitement and make you sing along. It’s enticing and makes you sit with full concentration. And in the end, we defeat the Nazis—what could be greater than that?

The film is loosely based on two books by Mary Norton: The Magic Bedknob; or, How to Become a Witch in Ten Easy Lessons (1943) and Bonfires and Broomsticks (1947).

Our movie starts in the middle of World War II. Children had been evacuated from London and placed in homes. Miss Eglantine Price (Angela Lansbury) is given three children to care for: Charlie, Carrie, and Paul. During that time, by law, children were given to people with homes who could care for them. She reluctantly accepts this task and takes them to her home.

Miss Price has a secret, which the children learn early on after settling into her home. Miss Price is an apprentice witch who has been taking lessons from Prof. Emelius Brown (David Tomlinson). Miss Price needs to master the art of magic so she can use it for a specific purpose. The children try to blackmail her but fail, as Miss Price is not easily pushed around. However, she agrees to give them a gift: a magic bedknob which, when placed on the bed, can take them anywhere they want to go.

After learning that Prof. Brown is no longer willing to help her complete her class, she travels with the children to see him—on the bed, using the magic bedknob. Soon, we are taken on a magical ride with Miss Price, Prof. Brown, and the children as they try to find the final spell for her class. They deal with animals on an island where animals rule and try to make it back with the last spell to achieve her goal.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks is one of the old classics that I feel everyone should own and watch every time they finish seeing Mary Poppins. Even though both films blend animation and live-action, Bedknobs and Broomsticks lacks the same charm and impact, making it feel like a lesser version of Mary Poppins. It also suffers from uneven pacing, with some scenes, like the Naboombu adventure, dragging on too long, while the ending feels like it could be better.

Still, I love and recommend the movie.

Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)

Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)

4/10

 

Starring

Lindsay Lohan

Justin Long

Matt Dillon

Michael Keaton

 

Directed by Angela Robinson

 

Like the first film (The Love Bug (1968)) and all the movies in the series, this movie seems to be made for young viewers—viewers who will find the antics funny, while the adults disconnect and scroll through TikTok as the movie rolls by, or, back in my day, plug their ears and listen to sports. I recall seeing this movie back then, and it has stayed in my brain as one I always felt was fun to rewatch. But now, seeing it again, I think such movies from childhood should just remain there.

The problem here is the lack of insight into the possibilities this movie could have explored. I understand the idea that Herbie cannot talk, but one thing The Love Bug (1968) got right was using exaggerated movements and expressions to convey emotions, like Herbie frowning or rolling his eyes. This installment lacks that subtle charm.

The movie is also plagued with too many unnecessary characters, most of whom serve little purpose in the story. The antagonist is one-dimensional, and his irrational hatred of Herbie feels too myopic to be engaging. It’s hard to understand how someone could let themselves become so consumed by a car that they throw everything else away. Additionally, Herbie seems almost clairvoyant—he not only knows where to go but also magically understands exactly who Maggie needs to connect with after meeting her just once.

Anyway, the story centers on Maggie (Lindsay Lohan), the youngest member of the Peyton racing team. Maggie has a history of street racing accidents, so her father, Ray (Michael Keaton), has forbidden her to race again. After her graduation, Ray takes Maggie to get a car as a graduation present, and, by sheer luck, the car she ends up with is Herbie, the sentient anthropomorphic 1963 Volkswagen Beetle.

Maggie cleans Herbie up, and during a test drive, Herbie takes control and drives her to the mechanic shop of an old friend. While testing Herbie further to see what repairs are needed, Maggie struggles to control him as he drives them to a street racing event, where NASCAR champion Trip is competing. Herbie wins the race, and Trip becomes obsessed, doing everything he can to destroy Herbie. Meanwhile, Maggie tries to keep her street racing days a secret from her father while also learning to master control of Herbie.

This movie is one of those that you can tell Disney made for the cash. While it was a box-office success during Lindsay Lohan’s heyday, it was ultimately a critical failure.