Michael (1996)

Michael (1996)

3/10

Starring

John Travolta

Andie MacDowell

William Hurt

Bob Hoskins

Robert Pastorelli

 

Directed by Nora Ephron

 

When I was much younger and saw Michael, I could not fully understand or pinpoint what was off, but I knew the film didn't have the same impact I expected from a John Travolta movie.

I blamed it on my younger self's inability to fully comprehend the film, but now, as an adult, I can confidently say that Michael is one of the most pointless films about an angel I’ve ever seen.

Are you seriously telling me that the archangel Michael is so jobless that his mission on Earth is to make two people fall in love? Is this really the most important task in his divine agenda?

Now that the two of them are in love, it did not solve world hunger, or bring about world peace, just two new lovebirds, who if they have children will add to the growing overpopulation of the world.

The story is so disjointed and lacking any cohesive elements that I can’t fathom how I let my sister convince me to rewatch it. She didn’t find it entertaining either, but she insisted on seeing it because, as children, we were both huge John Travolta fans.

So, what exactly is Michael about? Well, for anyone lucky enough to have missed this film, here’s a quick rundown:

Michael follows the archangel Michael (played by Travolta), who descends to Earth to help an elderly woman with her problems. At the start, two well-known journalists from the National Mirror are tasked with getting Michael to Chicago. When they finally meet him, they quickly realize that Michael has other reasons for being on Earth, and he specifically chose to travel with these three individuals. Along for the ride are Frank and Huey, the journalists, and Dorothy, a woman who their boss claims is an "angel expert."

Upon meeting Michael, they are shocked by his behavior and the way he speaks. Michael is staying with the woman he’s come to help, and despite his divine status, he decides to accompany them to Chicago.

Instead of flying, Michael insists on a road trip, refusing to have his picture taken until they reach Chicago. The rest of the film follows their journey, revealing that Michael, though an angel, harbors personal desires and intentions beyond simply helping those in need.

Michael’s actions and mannerisms during the trip aren’t intriguing, but rather borderline irritating. Their stops along the way seem nonsensical, as Michael’s decisions defy any logical explanation.

It felt like watching a horny angel trying to sleep around.

Avoid this movie at all costs if you value your sanity and probably your innocence.

Ladyhawke (1985)

Ladyhawke (1985)

 6/10

Starring

Matthew Broderick

Rutger Hauer

Michelle Pfeiffer

Leo McKern

John Wood

 

Directed by Richard Donner

 

I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would. Although it didn’t fully capitalize on the swordplay and sorcery combination, it managed to deliver an entertaining adventure romance, with twists and turns that I did not expect at all. I appreciated how the film kept some secrets, only revealing them halfway through.

Matthew Broderick brought the comedy, with his wisecracks hitting home at just the right moments, while the rest of the cast were more serious and handled all the adult stuff.

Visually, the film was enjoyable, and the cinematography stood out. However, its story prevented the film from becoming a classic and achieving major box office success at the time. Still, it was worth the time spent watching it. It was like the movie was tethered by its own need to have a masterful twist, that it never fully took off.

Set in medieval times when the church held power through the fear of God, the film takes place in a land called Aquila. The story revolves around two lovers who are cursed. The curse is in the form of keeping them apart. The curse makes sure that neither can see the other in their true human form.

Parallel to this, we follow a thief named Philippe Gaston (Broderick), who accidentally falls into a hole and uses the opportunity to escape his dungeon on the day of his scheduled execution.

The bishop, displeased with Gaston’s escape, sends the captain of the guard with a team to hunt him down and kill him. Gaston, however, takes his escape for granted, only to find himself celebrating in a bar, where he accidentally runs into the captain and his men disguised as regular patrons. After being caught, Gaston is rescued by Etienne of Navarre, the former Captain of the Guard of Aquila.

Etienne’s appearance causes a stir, and he helps Gaston flee. He takes him along on a mission to get back to Aquila, where he has unfinished business with the bishop.

Through the journey the movie makes you loose focus of somethings, when Gaston meets a woman, who always happen to be around when Etienne is not. Then Gaston learns more of the curse which were on these lovers, and who these lovers were and how he can be able to help them break the curse, and in the end gain revenge on the Bishop.

I enjoyed the film so much that I plan to watch it again.

Krull (1983)

Krull (1983)

 

2/10

 

Starring

 Ken Marshall

Lysette Anthony

Freddie Jones

Francesca Annis

Directed by Peter Yates

 

Krull is a perfect example of a good idea gone wrong. It begins with a prophecy about a future savior, planting a seed that the film will involve some kind of time jump, only to never deliver. This makes the introduction feel pointless. Set in a distant galaxy, the planet Krull is invaded by aliens, and the visuals, considering it was made in the 80s, are impressive. However, the story is so absurd that it’s difficult to understand how anyone thought this would work on screen without some serious rewrites. The plot is so poor that it distracts you from noticing the acting done by the actors who tried to make the best of what they are given to work with.

The plot centers on a princess, whose child is supposed to save the world. But as quickly as this plot point is introduced, it is discarded. The princess is kidnapped by the alien leader, though the film never makes clear why. The kidnapping happened when the princess and a prince were to marry to unite their kingdoms. The battle that ensues in the wedding kidnap is a massacre, as swords are utterly ineffective against laser guns. Miraculously, the prince survives the attack, though this is without any backstory or real emotional investment in the character.

So, as you can guess the prince has to go save the princess. We are then introduced to a mysterious character known as "the Old One" which to me is a stupid name. He gives no explanation about who he is, but his purpose seems to be the one to guide the prince. He did this using vague hints that are confusing and offer no real substance. What we know is that, the prince is to follow him to get information on how to save the princess.

Along the way, they meet several other pointless characters, each adding nothing to the story. One group of bandits, who inexplicably joins the quest, are convinced by the Old One’s nonsensical speech.

The film continues in this manner, with random events and characters being thrown in without explanation, leaving viewers to wonder how any of this is connected. The plot feels like something a child might dream up during a long afternoon of daydreaming. As much as the visual effects try to carry the film, they can’t make up for the lack of coherence and logic in the narrative.

Watching Krull felt like wasting valuable time, as I struggled to understand how such an incoherent script could ever be considered worth filming. Even re-reading this post, I can see how incoherent it sounds, but this is the movie plot.

I couldn’t help but feel a sense of depression knowing I had spent part of my life watching this film.

Dragonslayer (1981)

 Dragonslayer (1981)

5/10 

Starring

Peter MacNicol

Caitlin Clarke

Ralph Richardson

John Hallam

 

Directed by Matthew Robbins

 

I don’t quite know what to think about this film. It wasn’t boring, and while some characters could have used better development and depth, I didn’t feel the need to stop watching.

If I compare the effects to what I remember from my youth, I can honestly say the visuals were classy and held up well for a film from the 80s.

The movie created its hero in a unique way, and the villain’s eventual fate is something you definitely won’t see coming. As the story develops, you’ll come to appreciate how it all unfolds.

Every character in the movie leaves an impression, each with their own presence. But it’s impossible to guess how each one will contribute to the dragon's eventual demise. The plot’s unpredictability keeps you on your toes.

The story begins with the last sorcerer, Ulrich of Cragganmore, practicing magic alongside his apprentice, Galen Bradwarden. They’re approached by a group led by Valerian, asking for their help to save Urland, a land terrorized by a 400-year-old dragon named Vermithrax Pejorative. Ulrich agrees to assist, but his apprentice tries to talk him out of it, citing Ulrich’s age and health as obstacles. Despite the doubts, Ulrich sets off with them.

Before leaving, one of the king’s captains accuses Ulrich of being a fraud and questions his abilities. Ulrich, decided to allow the man to test his abilities, he called Galen, gave him his wizardry amulet and present himself to be tested.

How Ulrich (after being tested), with Galen’s help, was able to get to Urland and together, they confront the dragon are a series of events that unfold in ways you wouldn’t expect. Their quest is one of discoveries and surprises, and the ultimate fate of the dragon is something worth experiencing firsthand, so I will not drop spoilers here.

While the movie didn’t quite achieve box-office success in 1981, it was still an enjoyable adventure, with special effects that were a breakthrough at the time. It was the first film outside of Lucasfilm to use ILM (Industrial Light & Magic) for visual effects, earning an Academy Award nomination for Best Visual Effects. Unfortunately, it lost to another ILM film from that year Raiders of the Lost Ark (Indiana Jones).

I’m not sure if this movie should be considered a classic in the dragon genre, but it’s certainly a fun ride and worth watching, especially if you can overlook the fact that the effects are from 1981.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)

 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)

3/10

Starring

Jason Momoa

Patrick Wilson

Amber Heard

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II

 

Directed by James Wan

 

I do not know what this film was meant to be, but 'interesting' is not one of its qualities. It is boring and very hard to enjoy, as the film itself seems to be breaking all forms of continuity, and the story it is riding on seems half-baked.

Time wasted on building a brotherly bond, jokes that never seem to land, and the film wants so badly to be an action-fantasy comedy, but the comedy makes you yawn in disappointment.

I felt the first Aquaman (2018) was okay, but this sequel is boring to the max, and you can see very much that they cut off Mera (Amber Heard) out of the film as much as they could.

Jason Momoa's lack of comedy awareness or good landing is more of a problem with the writing than the actor himself. I have never been able to see him do comedy well, but when the story and crafting are well done, and all he needs to do is deliver the lines, he should be able to get it right.

The film starts with Arthur Curry (Aquaman, played by Jason Momoa) trying to live a normal human life as a father. Spending half his time on land and the other half running Atlantis as their king. We then see David Kane, who is trying to get himself together, fix the Black Manta armored suit, and go after Arthur in revenge for his father in Aquaman (2018).

David’s quest leads him to discover a trident that was crafted by the king of the lost kingdom. The trident overpowers David’s will, and even though killing Arthur and his family is still the focus of David, the trident wants to use this goal to free the king and the people of the lost kingdom.

This is the 15th and final film in the DC Extended Universe (DCEU). As Warner is planning a reboot of the entire franchise, which will be run by James Gunn, it will be called the DC Universe (DCU), which will kick off with Superman: Legacy in 2025

I wonder how the new DC Universe will play out with reboots of all the characters, and we can see if James Gunn can create around him a team that will match what Marvel has created in the MCU. I do not have that much faith in their capabilities, but I am very curious to see the films of the new universe.

The Marvels (2023)

The Marvels (2023)

 6/10

Starring

Brie Larson

Teyonah Parris

Iman Vellani

Zawe Ashton

 

Directed by Nia DaCosta

 

The Marvels is a sequel to the 2019 film Captain Marvel, and a continuation of the television miniseries Ms. Marvel. It serves as the 33rd film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), and I hope it marks the end of the mediocre Disney/Marvel movies we've been served lately, ushering in a new era when their films dominated the box office and made everyone queue up to see them.

One thing that stands out in this film is Iman Vellani as Kamala Khan / Ms. Marvel. She was 10/10 in this film and the only thing that mattered. When she wasn't on screen, I missed her. The film also features Monica Rambeau. We know Monica from the first Captain Marvel film as the daughter of Carol's late friend Maria. Monica always looked up to Carol and can manipulate the electromagnetic spectrum—powers she gained during the events of WandaVision. There is an abandonment dynamic between Monica and Carol, which I felt was unnecessary and forced. Why can't Disney characters actually keep in touch? It’s something they should focus on.

The plot revolves around an incident that occurred decades ago when Carol Danvers destroyed the Supreme Intelligence, which led the Kree Empire. This destruction led to a civil war on the Kree planet Hala, which caused the destruction of the planet's natural resources, including its sun, water, and air.

Dar-Benn, a new leader of the Kree, discovers one of the Quantum Bands and intends to use it to take away these natural resources from other planets to Hala to save her people still living there. Her actions cause the powers of Captain Marvel, Monica, and Ms. Marvel (who wears the other Quantum Band) to become entangled. Now the three must work together to stop Dar-Benn. The film ends with an after-credit scene introducing a new reality about other characters in the Marvel-acquired universe.

This film missed so many opportunities to be great. I cannot understand why they decided to even attempt some of the character developments and their subsequent actions. Here was an opportunity to have three women with powers from diverse backgrounds try to save the world, and Disney blew it. Instead, they turned it into a film with too many dialogues about connecting and working together, which shouldn’t have been necessary if they had made Carol a better person from the onset.

The character of Carol Danvers was turned into an asshole who doesn’t seem to understand the importance of listening at times. She was made so annoying that it was hard to look away, leaving you wanting less of her persona on screen.

The film failed at the box office and, even story-wise, it didn’t have the desired impact they hoped for. It just made the film seem like something that should’ve been handled by more professional writers who would focus on better power development and authentic stories, rather than trying to prove a point with diversity and women empowerment.

Wish (2023)

Wish (2023)

3/10

Starring the voices of

Ariana DeBose

Chris Pine

Alan Tudyk

Angelique Cabral

 

Directed by Chris Buck and Fawn Veerasunthorn

 

Wish is Disney's 62nd theatrical animated production, and it follows their abysmal 61^st animated production, Strange World. Wish is more disappointing than their last production, Strange World, and the horrible story is not something you would expect from the Mouse House. For a long time, since Zootopia (2016) and Moana (2016), Disney has struggled to create an animation that makes you want to see a second part with the same characters facing another animated adventure. This film has forgettable characters that leave no impact on the viewer, and the film altogether is so poor, it is the last thing you would think Disney could produce.

Wish is a combination of CGI and feels like old traditional animation. They added some singing to it, which fails to matter the way the songs of Encanto captured the world who could not stop talking about Bruno.

The story is about a magician who lives and runs an island as a king. People travel far and wide to come live on this island because, when they are eighteen, they give him their wish, and once a year, he chooses one of the wishes to grant. The sad thing is, when he takes their wish, he erases their memory of it, leaving them with a feeling that something is missing in their life. Asha is a seventeen-year-old young lady whose dream was to be an apprentice to the magician, King Magnifico. Upon her interview, she discovers all the above about the wishes taken from the people and asks why the King never gives the wishes back. She could not understand why Magnifico would not let people work on making their dreams come true since he would not assist. This created a barrier between the King and his potential apprentice. In her sadness, she makes a wish on a star. The star comes down to her, and Magnifico notices that someone on his island is using magic. In his fear of losing control over what he has built on this island, he turns to the dark side to capture this person and bring the whole island back under his control.

By the film's end, I felt Disney needed to stop production on all these lame excuses for a film and just go back to the old ways, even their revenue shows that these new ways of production do not work.

There is something wrong with the present times, with even being bad sugar-coated to make it look a bit sweet. I remember back when I was younger, when Scar killed Mufasa, or when Bambi’s mother was shot, you could tell how cruel the world was, and we were forced to face it head-on as kids. Even when they decided to soft-pedal these dark themes, we still had clear and obvious bad characters depicted as cruel, like Yzma in Emperor’s New Groove or Hades in Hercules. There was a distinct way you could tell bad from good. Things have changed now, with being bad remixed as being misunderstood. Everyone is trying to be politically correct and fit into the common trend of being hip, which is ruining all Disney titles, be it from Marvel, Pixar, or Disney animation.