Ted 2 (2015)

Ted 2 (2015)

3/10

Starring

Mark Wahlberg

Seth MacFarlane

Amanda Seyfried

Directed by Seth MacFarlane

Ted 2 is not a movie worth watching. It shows that the writers had no idea what else to do with a talking teddy bear. I didn’t like the first movie and gave it a 5/10 rating. I didn’t expect the sequel to be better than the first, but I didn’t expect it to suck this much. You won’t believe how much of this movie you can literally cut out because those scenes added nothing to the story and couldn’t even pass as comedy.

The movie had enough cameos, but even they couldn’t save it.

The plot is so lacking in insight that it’s despicable. Ted decides to get married—a teddy bear with no male genitalia tying the knot with his girlfriend. This takes me back to the first movie, where you see him with women (sex implied), and even then, I was wondering what weird sense of humor Seth and his co-writers have.

John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is his best man, of course, but he’s going through a rough patch as his marriage is over.

Ted and his wife decide to adopt a child to strengthen their marital bond. When it comes to the state’s attention that Ted can’t adopt, hold a job, or even be married because he’s considered property and not a human, John convinces Ted to sue the state. However, they’re up against some big guns who want to claim Ted as their property and rip him apart to see what makes him tick.

The reason we have to endure this crap is that in 2012, Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy) wrote a story about a boy who wished for his teddy bear to come to life. The wish came true, but the bear turned out to be foul-mouthed and loved getting high. Seth made a movie about a 35-year-old man and his bromance with a 27-year-old teddy bear named Ted.

Ted (2012) was Seth’s full-length directorial debut, costing $85 million to make and earning over $540 million at the box office. You can guess the rest of the story—a sequel was already in the works, with Seth returning to direct. What you just read above is the crappy plot for Ted 2.

I guess there is a market for people loving adults behaving like children, with a stuffed animal being foul-mouthed, who am I to stop people from loving what they love, for me this movie is something to avoid.

Burying The Ex (2014)

Burying The Ex (2014)

3/10

Starring

Anton Yelchin

Ashley Greene

Directed by Joe Dante

Anyone with half the mind of an adult will definitely tell you not to go see this movie. Burying the Ex was made for lovers of B-rated horror movies who don’t mind a lame plot. The screenplay lacks any form of maturity, and the problem with such a screenplay is that you’ll sit through the movie wondering what else they could come up with—because it’s so bad, you can’t accept that it could get worse.

If you’ve ever liked zombie movies and the whole idea of the dead coming back to life, you’ll be utterly disappointed with how Joe Dante decided to channel this movie.
Joe has been in the movie-making business for a long time. Making horror films—or movies about odd creatures coming to life—is something he’s known for. I liked his old movies, like Gremlins (1984), Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), and Small Soldiers (1998), but I disliked this one. The movie wasn’t horror enough, which was the idea since it’s a horror-comedy, but the comedy wasn’t even funny enough to make up for the lack of horror.

I guess my only thrill was seeing Pavel Chekov (Anton Yelchin) from Star Trek, but I should’ve waited another year to see him in the next Star Trek movie, Star Trek Beyond (2016).

The movie’s plot centers on Max (Anton Yelchin), who is dating and living with his environmentally obsessed girlfriend. She makes Max eat healthy and tries to keep him away from behaviors that would be bad for him. She even tries to cut his half-brother (a drunk, jobless waste) out of his life so that Max’s life can be great.

Yep, she’s a controlling freak, and Max didn’t like it for a second. But she was beautiful, sexy, and caring, so Max just hung on—until she took the whole "green" thing too far.
The movie takes its time making us hate Max’s girlfriend, Evelyn (Ashley Greene), for her controlling nature, but it fails to show why the things she was trying to keep Max away from were actually bad. In my opinion, she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Max decides to break up with her, but she dies before the breakup. And since they had somehow wished to be together forever in front of a freakishly devilish genie, Evelyn crawls out of her grave to get back together with Max.

Well, if you need a movie to watch to pass the time… I’d advise you to go exercise until you’re worn out, take a shower, and go to bed instead.

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

7/10

Starring

Robin Williams

Forest Whitaker

Directed by Barry Levinson

Good Morning, Vietnam is a 1987 war comedy movie set in Saigon in 1965 during the Vietnam War. The radio phrase, “Good Morning, Vietnam,” sticks with you, and the radio show is one you’ll listen to with excitement and joy as you watch Robin Williams marvel at the mic with silky-smooth talks that’ll make you wish you could do the same.
The movie’s plot is loosely based on the experiences of AFRS radio DJ Adrian Cronauer.

It stands out as a wonderful comedy and a thrilling war drama, and Williams’ chaotic comic relief during a disastrous war is something you have to see to appreciate.

His character acts on impulse, meeting everything head-on, and it makes you wish you could meet the real Adrian Cronauer. If he really acted like Williams portrayed him, then he must be a cool guy. If not, I bet he wishes he were just as cool as Robin makes him out to be. Not only does the movie boast Williams’ mastery, but it’s also filled with a wonderful cast.

The movie’s plot revolves around a radio station in Saigon, Vietnam, where American soldiers can tune in and catch up with what’s going on around the globe and back home.

Airman Adrian Cronauer is brought in to host a comedy segment in the radio station’s daily broadcast—a task he was born to do.
Adrian not only delivers a memorable performance but also makes some of his superiors jealous with his carefree, loud, and quick-witted personality. He becomes a source of inspiration for the men in the field, giving them something they weren’t used to.

Adrian also makes friends with the locals, which is frowned upon by some of the other soldiers. While his friendship is nice, it may actually be his downfall.

This is a movie showcasing the late Robin Williams at his best as he hosts a radio show, much of which was improvised. While Williams gives an incredible performance, the supporting characters don't get enough depth and don't leave much of an impression. Also, the plot, although engaging, tends to focus more on the comedy, which weakens the impact of the war setting. 

Williams gained numerous accolades for the movie, including a Golden Globe Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role and nominations for Best Actor at the Academy Awards and BAFTA.

The movie is ranked 100 on AFI’s 100 Years...100 Laughs list, and it was a critical and commercial success, making over $123 million from a $13 million production budget. This is one of the late Robin Williams’ best films, and if you haven’t seen it, you should.

He showcased masterclass acting.

Paul Blat: Mall Cop 2 (2015)

 

Paul Blat: Mall Cop 2 (2015)

3/10

Starring

Kevin James

Neal McDonough

Directed by Andy Fickman

Once in a while, I like watching comedies universally panned by critics because they can be so bad that they become really funny. You watch the movie thinking, “It can’t be that bad,” and then they surprise you.
The thought I had when the credits started rolling was, “They knew.”

They knew this movie was crap right from the beginning. They knew they didn’t have anything, and all they had was people like me who liked the first movie and would love to see a second part—and they cashed in on that.

I have to say, Kevin James performance in this movie is an overkill, and made his presence annoying more than entertaining, which is sad because he is the lead.

In this crap pot, which Kevin James co-wrote, Paul and his daughter go to a security officer’s convention in Las Vegas. It just so happens that the hotel they’re staying in—the Wynn Hotel—is also the location of a crime operation.

In the midst of the convention, criminal mastermind Vincent (Neal McDonough) and his accomplices disguise themselves as hotel employees to position themselves perfectly as they steal priceless works of art from the hotel and replace them with replicas.

Things were going great for both Paul and Vincent—somehow, in the middle of the movie—until their paths crossed, and Paul passed out from low blood sugar.

They would be stupid to make a part 3. This was a financial ploy, taking advantage of the audience. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is another Happy Madison genre of bad writing, weak characters, and a sad excuse for comic entertainment. Yep, the movie is that bad and more, as it tries to string together shameful jokes and totally avoidable stupidity with the aim of making you laugh hard.

In the end, you do laugh—not at the movie, but at yourself for wasting your time and money to go see it. The script lacked any form of seriousness to be accepted as a well-thought-through idea.

The whole Mall Cop thing in the first movie, where Paul tries to deter some bad guys alone, was good. That does not give Happy Madison the right to ruin a good memory. I had to look up the director (Andy Fickman) on Wiki because the movie experience felt like he had never directed a movie before in his life—yet he’s been in the business since 2002.

The movie was a commercial success. Why? Because people like me wanted to watch Paul Blart again.

Happy Madison Productions, an Adam Sandler company, is making money from mediocrity. I can’t wait for that to stop.

The Imitation Game (2014)

The Imitation Game (2014)

7/10

Starring

Benedict Cumberbatch

Keira Knightley

Matthew Goode

Directed by Morten Tyldum

Breaking the Enigma code the Germans used in World War II was a great feat. Without that success, the millions of lives that would have been lost during the war would have led to chaos. Alan Turing’s work will go down in history as the beginning of modern computers. He wasn’t celebrated much during the 1940s and early ’50s due to the British government hiding the machine he created with the Hut 8 team, as well as his homosexuality (Turing was pardoned by Queen Elizabeth II in 2013), which later led to his eventual suicide.
Nevertheless, we still owe him and his Hut 8 team a lot for saving the world from Hitler’s killings and his campaign to take over the world.

The film is loosely based on the biography Alan Turing: The Enigma, written by Andrew Hodges in 1983, and it is magnificent. The Imitation Game was a commercial (making over $219 million from a $14 million production budget) and critical success. It’s thrilling and exciting as you watch Hut 8 work hard to crack the German coded messages.
The screenplay topped the annual Black List for best unproduced Hollywood scripts in 2011 and won Best Adapted Screenplay at the 87th Academy Awards (the only award it won).

Benedict Cumberbatch was in a realm of his own in this film, delivering such a magnificent performance that I believe he’ll be remembered for it in the years to come. I’m not much of a fan of Keira Knightley, but here I really appreciated her performance. Another person to look out for is Matthew Goode—his portrayal of a highly intellectual cryptanalyst and chess player was great.

The movie starts with a break-in at the home of the mathematician, Turing. It then develops into a nonlinear story, beginning with two officers investigating Turing’s break-in in 1951, where they suspect him of being a spy. The movie then flashes back to Alan’s school days, where he met a friend named Christopher, who got him interested in cryptography. From there, we move to Alan’s time at Bletchley Park.

At Bletchley Park, Alan led a team of men and one woman, Joan Clarke, to build a machine that would crack the German codes as they were intercepted.

The movie is very inaccurate about many things, including the events surrounding the development of the machine and even Alan Turing himself. Hollywood didn’t want to make a movie about a nice, easygoing guy who got along well with his team to build a machine to crack the German code. Instead, they made him a weirdo and a loner. Plus, the pacing can feel a bit uneven, particularly with the nonlinear structure, which disrupts the flow at times. While the performances are solid, some of the characters don’t leave much of a lasting impression, feeling a bit underdeveloped.

Great movie all the same.

Minions (2015)

Minions (2015)

6/10

Starring the voice of

Pierre Coffin

Sandra Bullock

Jon Hamm

Michael Keaton

Allison Janney

Steve Coogan

Directed by Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda

I saw Minions and wasn’t impressed. I guess I was expecting too much from the gibberish-talking, yellow-looking creatures whose sole aim is to serve.

I have to applaud the writers for the script, though. It was a nice attempt, and the movie had its funny moments, but it wasn’t as good as the movies it spun off from (Despicable Me (2010) and Despicable Me 2 (2013)).

I guess the origin story of the Minions was the tripping part of the movie. They’ve existed since the dawn of time, moving through history in search of the most evil and despicable master to serve.
(Spoiler Alert: this happens in the first 10 minutes of the movie.)
The problem they keep having is keeping their masters alive long enough to enjoy serving them. A series of unfortunate events (which they initiate) leads to the death or demise of their masters. They served:

1. A T. Rex
2. A caveman
3. An Egyptian pharaoh
4. A medieval king
5. A pirate captain
6. Genghis Khan
7. Napoleon
8. Dracula.

The fun in the first ten minutes was watching this transition from master to master and the series of unfortunate events that led to their demise. Dracula’s death in the film is one you’ll love—they accidentally expose him to sunlight while trying to celebrate his birthday.

That’s basically the plot of the movie. The Minions are in search of a new evil master to serve, and Kevin, along with volunteers Stu and Bob, travels to New York City to find one. There, they learn about Villain-Con, a villain convention where supervillains from around the world meet to recruit new henchmen.

The Minions attend and somehow get hired by Scarlet Overkill, the greatest and first female supervillain in the world. Kevin calls the others to meet him, Stu, and Bob in London (where Scarlet lives) as she plans to steal Queen Elizabeth’s crown with the help of her three new henchmen.

I’ve seen the Minion shorts, and they’ve all been great, which led me to go see this feature-length film. But halfway through, I got bored—I missed Gru and the girls. I feel the Minions are great as supporting characters, not as leads.

If you like Despicable Me and are in the mood for some gibberish talk from those lovable Minions, then go see this movie. If not… wait for Despicable Me 3 (2017).

Boyhood (2014)

Boyhood (2014)

8/10

Starring

Patricia Arquette

Ellar Coltrane

Lorelei Linklater

Ethan Hawke

Directed by Richard Linklater

Boyhood is a project Richard Linklater created about a boy’s life from age 6 to 18. His goal was to capture a boy’s perspective on growing up and his relationship with his parents. Normally, you’d expect the filmmaker to cast different actors to portray the lead at various ages.
Linklater went a step further. He cast the movie in 2002 and shot it intermittently until 2013. With some superior editing by Sandra Adair (who won an ACE Eddie Award and was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Film Editing), Boyhood became a masterpiece. Linklater started filming without a complete script, adapting it as the cast grew and incorporating parts of their lives into the film. It has some great performances in it, but some performances, particularly from the younger cast, can feel uneven.

Linklater wrote and directed this movie, and his directing is something you’ll appreciate. The movie’s flow is steady and inviting, pulling you in to see it through. He went all out to make his dream of creating this film a reality by casting and retaining the same lead actors for 12 years and working with a relatively small budget to bring it to life.

In Boyhood, we see the life of Mason Jr. (Ellar Coltrane) as he tries to cope with divorced parents, Mason Sr. and Olivia (played by Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette, respectively).
Mason also has to deal with growing up and his mother’s struggle to find a suitable partner. Olivia gets married three times and divorced three times. In her defense, the men were great at first but soon became dead weight.

The movie’s focus is on Mason, but it also gives much attention to his sister, Samantha (played by Richard Linklater’s daughter, Lorelei), who deals with boys and rebellion. We see Mason’s father grow into responsibility and the pain mothers go through when they live their lives for their children.

Boyhood appears on numerous critics’ lists of the best films of 2014. It also won many awards, including both the Golden Globe Award and the British Academy Film Award (BAFTA) for Best Film. Among its six nominations at the 87th Academy Awards, it received its sole Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, which went to Patricia Arquette.

As a critically acclaimed movie, it went on to make over $46 million at the box office against its $4 million production cost.
For me, Boyhood is another masterpiece—one many will remember for a long time. If you want to see a good movie and admire the production, this is one for you. 

But I must add, that even though the movie is unique, some might find the pacing slow at times, especially with the long runtime and episodic structure. Then the idea of following a character’s life over 12 years is ambitious, and the focus on the lead sometimes leaves other character arcs underdeveloped.