Fist Fight (2017)

Fist Fight (2017)

2/10

Starring

Ice cube

Charlie Day

Directed by Richie Keen

I had a nice movie weekend, but I decided to top it off by watching Fist Fight—one of the most moronic things ever put together and called a movie.

I’ll give the movie credit for one thing: everything happens in a single stretch. The producers didn’t have to worry much about locations or scripting, as most of the scenes take place during one day in a high school.

Whoever wrote this movie and thought they’d created something worth watching—other than themselves—must have been on some of the drugs featured in the film. The pacing was awful, moving so fast at times that I forgot the names of the lead characters and had to wait for someone to say them out loud.

The movie is supposed to be an over-the-top portrayal of teachers in a school with fictional, badly behaved teens as students. It’s meant to be silly fun, but it’s not. Everything that’s supposed to be the comic attraction—the reason you’d stay to see the ending—is missing. Instead, you’re left with a bunch of adults making fools of themselves and calling it a movie.

Charlie Day has always been comfortable playing characters who are blissfully unaware of their childishness, happily living in their own little world. Ice Cube, on the other hand, plays a tough, confident guy with motives to make the world a better place. When these two teachers meet, the producers were probably hoping for a buddy comedy about an odd couple. But judging by the ratings and box office returns, they didn’t get what they wanted.

You’d think with these two actors in their comfort zones, the movie would turn out great and be worth watching. But that wasn’t the case with Fist Fight. The characters might have been comfortable in their roles, but the movie was so terrible that it made them just as bad as the events unfolding on screen.

The movie didn’t even bother to waste time developing any characters. It rushes through introducing the leads, the supporting cast, and the theme. Then, we watch as these two leads go back and forth—one trying to fight, the other trying to avoid it.

The plot is simple: Andy (Charlie Day) witnesses Ron (Ice Cube) wielding an axe in class and chopping up a desk. Andy for fear of losing his job, snitches on Ron. Now, a furious Ron tells Andy there’s going to be a fist fight after school for snitching.

The rest of the movie follows these two leads as they go through the day, leading up to the fight.

What a waste of film reel.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

4/10

Starring

Milla Jovovich

Ali Larter

Shawn Roberts

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

Are you ready for a headache? How about vertigo-inducing crappy editing, disturbingly annoying CGI effects, and out-of-this-world (but not in a good way) martial arts choreography? Let’s not forget a screenplay that’ll make you want to tear your eyes out. If you’re down for all that, then Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is for you.

Here’s a movie that adds nothing to the already annoying Resident Evil franchise, which was ruined after the producers—husband-and-wife duo Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich—decided to keep churning out sequels.

Paul W.S. Anderson continues as writer, producer, and, in this movie, director of this useless series, starring his wife Milla Jovovich as the lead character, Alice.

This sixth installment in the Resident Evil film series, like its predecessors, has been financially successful at the box office. But let’s be honest: these movies are made for fans and no one else. This one is meant to be the end of the saga, even though the fifth movie, Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), hinted at the same thing. Given the financial returns, though, I doubt this is truly the end. Even after watching this, I still think they could make another.

The movie features one of the crappiest reunions ever, and everything in between that isn’t leading to a battle is a total bore.

I won’t lie—the movie does have its exciting moments and some interesting revelations about what’s happened and what’s needed to stop the Umbrella Corporation from destroying the world. But none of that mattered much when I already felt like I was wasting my money watching it.

So, what’s this supposed final installment about? Alice continues her quest to take down Umbrella Inc. Along the way, she encounters the Red Queen, who claims her directives have been compromised and offers to help Alice bring down Umbrella.

At first, Alice doesn’t trust the Red Queen, but with no other viable options, she reluctantly follows her instructions.

On her way to the hive, Alice is captured by Dr. Alexander Isaacs, whom she supposedly killed earlier. Isaacs throws her out to be eaten by zombies while they head to destroy a human settlement.

Alice escapes, reaches the settlement before them, and meets Claire. The two decide to work together and follow the Red Queen’s instructions to take down Umbrella Inc. and save the world.

What a bad movie, I should have saved myself the pain.

Hidden Figures (2016)

Hidden Figures (2016)

8/10

Starring

Taraji P. Henson

Octavia Spencer

Janelle Monáe

Kevin Costner

Kirsten Dunst

Jim Parsons

Directed by Theodore Melfi

I know someone who watched this movie and said, “It’s not an Oscar movie.” But I think the real crime is that it was nominated for three Oscars and didn’t win any.

Hidden Figures is one of those movies that hits the dramatic tone needed to keep you glued to your seat, transporting you into the events unfolding on screen. The nerve-wracking calculations and space flight sequences will have you grinding your teeth in anticipation, hoping everything works out—even though you’re watching a biographical movie where you already know the outcome.

This film is one of those rare gems that leaves a lasting impression with its historical facts and true-life stories. It carves a hole in your memory, standing as a movie to be remembered. As a black man, watching it made me proud of what these women achieved despite the monumental obstacles in their way.

When it comes to the acting, the women were absolutely on top of their game. With veteran actor Kevin Costner ensuring everything was perfect, the performances of Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monáe were irreplaceable. Without them, the movie wouldn’t have been as magnificent as it was.

I also have to give praise to Jim Parsons, Kirsten Dunst, and Mahershala Ali for their awesome supporting performances alongside the three leading women.

This is the second movie I’ve seen Mahershala Ali and Janelle Monáe in together—the first being the Academy Award-winning Best Picture of 2016, Moonlight, where Ali also won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

Hidden Figures tells the story of three black women working at NASA who played pivotal roles in the success of the space program. Katherine Johnson (Taraji P. Henson) was recruited to verify calculations made by the Space Task Group, becoming the first African-American woman in the team. Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer) was the unofficial supervisor of the segregated West Area Computers division at Langley Research Center. She taught herself the FORTRAN programming language after learning about the installation of the IBM 7090 electronic computer. She became the only person able to get the computer to work and ensured she and her team were transferred to the IBM 7090 unit, eventually being promoted to supervisor. Mary Jackson (Janelle Monáe) was a brilliant mathematician with a passion for engineering. She became the first African-American woman to attend an all-white school to study engineering, eventually becoming NASA’s first black female engineer.

You can pick up easily that the pacing is uneven, with some slower moments that drag on. While the performances are solid, the plot focuses more on the women’s accomplishments and doesn’t dive deep enough into their characters’ complexities. The movie takes some creative liberties to add drama, which ends up overshadowing the more subtle parts of the story.

You must make time to see this masterpiece of a movie—it’s worth it.