Dark Shadows (2012)

Dark Shadows (2012)

5/10

Starring

Johnny Depp
Michelle Pfeiffer
Helena Bonham Carter
Eva Green

Directed by Tim Burton

The decision to watch Dark Shadows was not based on the fact that it starred Johnny Depp, although that’s a reason some might go to the cinemas. Michelle Pfeiffer (who played Catwoman and to me is the best portrayal till date) was an incentive, but the main reason I actually chose to see it was because it was done by Tim Burton.

Tim Burton is known for his gothic movies, and this is no exception. One of my favourite Tim Burton movies is still The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993). This movie is based on a soap opera of the same name that premiered on ABC between 1966 and 1971. Funny enough, although Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) is the main character in this movie, in the soap he was introduced in the second season and grew to become one of the main characters.

I haven’t seen any episodes of the series, but if the movie is anything like the series, then I wonder if I ever will want to.

This is the eighth (if I’m not mistaken) movie that Johnny Depp and Tim Burton have made together, and it’s one of the worst I’ve seen from both.

The main issue with the movie isn’t the theme — the theme is actually well crafted, and I give kudos to the costume designer and the set manager — but the movie is so unevenly paced. One moment you’re excited, the next you’re dragged into a long conversation.

The vampire has some tricks up his sleeve beyond making you his zombie (which he did enough times in the movie). He could also bore you to death (which he did throughout).

The story goes like this: In the 18th century, the Collins family built a huge fortune in the fishing industry in Maine. A witch (Eva Green) falls in love with Barnabas (Johnny Depp), the son of Mr. Collins, but he turns her down after some…

She, out of anger and jealousy, kills everything Barnabas loves, including his parents and his wife, and does the one thing witches haven’t been able to do for a while now — she transforms him into a vampire and has him buried alive.

Now it’s the 70s, and Barnabas is dug out. He reunites with his weird descendants and begins plotting his return to power. Also, in these 196 years underground, the witch is still alive.

Will I still watch another Tim Burton movie?

Hell yeah!

If we focus on Depp and the rest of the cast, it was a sheer waste of talent. Having Pfeiffer and Eva Green and making no good use of them is amazing. Depp’s movie before this was The Rum Diary, a movie I still don’t get.

In the end, I wouldn’t recommend you waste a dime on this movie if I were you.

Get the Gringo (2012)

Get the Gringo (2012)

6/10

Starring

Mel Gibson

Kevin Hernandez

Dolores Heredia

Directed by Adrian Grunberg

Get the Gringo is a direct-to-DVD movie that I had the chance to see this afternoon, and I ask that all go see it because it is wonderfully done, well directed, and the plot is intriguing and will take you by surprise. Starring and produced by Mel Gibson, who delivered a lovely performance, the plot matches this with the cultural differences between Mexico and the United States. Adrian Grunberg crafted a masterpiece, with intense cinematography that I really enjoyed, especially given the slum setting.

I have to say, several elements of the movie can come off wrong and unrealistic, also the pacing didn’t match the proposed intensity. But the fun you get from watching the movie is the story arc, the way the strings are so closely knitted together that one wrong pull, the whole thing would come apart. It’s impressive how they built such a complex plot around a story involving a thief caught by corrupt cops and sent to a village-like prison. I applaud Mel Gibson, who co-wrote the script with the director and produced the movie through his own studio, Icon Productions.

Directed by Adrian Grunberg, who was the first assistant director on Gibson’s Apocalypto, Get the Gringo is one movie I wonder why it didn’t get a full box office release.

The prison set was done in Mexico; it was a slum run by another criminal.

The story goes: a man (Mel Gibson) steals money from a drug lord and is chased by police across the Mexican border. The Mexican police arrest him, keep the 2 million he stole, forge fake charges, and throw him into the slum-like prison.

In prison, Gibson’s character puts his stealing skills to work to maintain a life where money speaks.

He also meets a kid (Kevin Hernandez) who is being treated specially by the man who runs the prison.

Gibson and the kid team up for two different causes: Gibson to get his money back, and the kid to kill the prison boss and protect his liver (you’ll understand this when you see the movie).

Mel Gibson has done bigger movies and some misses like The Beaver, but this is a good movie. Sad it’s not a family film. Also, other than Gibson, the other characters did not perform as well, and the whole prison like village thing, didn’t carry the same sense of urgency and fear that I guess they wanted to pass across in this movie.

It was in the end a good movie to see.

Catch 44 (2011)

Catch 44 (2011)

3/10

Starring

Bruce Willis

Malin Akerman

Forest Whitaker

Shea Whigham

Directed by Aaron Harvey

While watching, I kept asking, what is going on? The idea that a movie will leave you in the dark, bringing out twists and trying to make you feel unprepared for what’s coming ahead, I guess sounded fun to the director and the cast. The problem is, the only thing I ended up feeling was anger and disdain for the actors and the makers.

The movie is directed and written by Aaron Harvey, with Forest Whitaker taking the lead role. The movie seemed like a Bruce Willis film, judging by the posters with his face splattered all over them, but it was Whitaker who had the lead, with Willis’s screen time barely being half the movie runtime.

Whitaker played Ronny, a sadistic character who seems off his rocker. The other cast members just played their roles and died. Which is one thing that works for this movie, nobody seems to matter more than the three people on the poster, so you do not need to get heavily invested.

The movie was supposed to be a twist story, making the audience wonder how it would play out, but the director threw in so many flashbacks that he lost you along the way. The plot is as simple as they come, nowhere near as complex as the director probably wanted. The idea of making the audience ache to find out what was going on might have looked good on paper, but on screen, it was just plain stupid. These things make me wonder why some executive read a plot, and still go ahead to invest in such movies as this.

I feel the movie did not go through the need production steps or thought, as you can see laziness splattered all over this movie. 

The plot is: Mel (Bruce Willis) sends his three girls (not his daughters, just employees) to handle a drug and money pickup.

Unknown to the girls, there was more to the task than it seemed. Ronny was madly in love with Tes (Malin Akerman), and Billy (Shea Whigham) couldn’t handle a simple job. In the end, everyone gets shot.

The movie ends abruptly, leaving you wondering why Willis and Whitaker took these roles, as their talents weren’t used. Whitaker is an Academy Award winner (for his role as Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland), so it’s funny seeing him in a movie like this. Makes you wonder if better roles aren’t finding him, but I guess they all did it for the money which who are we to say anything about that.

Would I recommend seeing this movie, hell no!

Armour of God 2 (1991)

Armour of God 2 (Operation Condor) (1991)

8/10

Starring:

Jackie Chan
Carol Cheng
Eva Cobo de Garcia
Shoko Ikeda

Directed by Jackie Chan

After the success of the first movie, a second part was created in 1991 and had a theatrical release in the US in 1997.

This movie was better and more interesting than the previous one. The storyline was more basic and straightforward, and the screenplay was humorous and thrilling. There were more stunts and effects in this one than the first. Armour of God the first part was a hit, with one girl on Jackie’s trail and another being saved.

In this part, we have two girls on his trail, and another met along the way. I guess the producers thought, “If two girls can make this much money, what will three girls bring?” Well, they brought in the cash as Armour of God Part Two was also a success.

The tale goes like this: Jackie is hired to find World War II Nazi gold hidden in the Sahara desert.

He teams up with three misfit ladies and they head out to Africa to find it. On the way, they stop over at a hotel where the manager is more interested in cash than anything else. They’re followed by two guys who could pass as the Three Stooges without a “Moo.”

Then add to the mix mercenaries who are ready to kill anyone who gets in their way, as they also want the gold.

The movie is funny because the makers focused more on humor, and the screenplay is one worth tipping your hat to. Problem is, I felt the jokes were a bit too much and at times went too far, it felt like the makers wanted to please some viewers in the expense of the more action-oriented ones.

Also, there were scenes in the movie that did not matter, and I felt the whole two girls on his trail thing did not add much to the movie but took from it instead.

The cinematography is what kills me in this movie — I kept wondering how many cameras were used to shoot it. Many trick-angle shots were present. In the desert, there are some quite interesting shots. This movie was shot in 1991 and all I can say is, well done, Jackie.

For me, the two Armour of God movies are ones any Jackie Chan lover will enjoy, so take a sip and savor the taste.

In December 2012, a Chinese movie starring Jackie Chan, CZ12 (also known as Chinese Zodiac), became the third part in the Armour of God series. It also earned Jackie Chan two Guinness World Records: "Most Stunts Performed by a Living Actor" and "Most Credits in One Movie."

Armour of God (1987)

Armour of God (1987)

7/10

Starring:

Jackie Chan
Alan Tam
Lola Forner
Rosamund Kwan

Directed by Jackie Chan and Eric Tsang

This is one of the oldies that made us love Jackie Chan with his regular kung-fu, comedy, and stunts, making everything within reach a weapon. This Indiana Jones–style movie had Jackie Chan play the Asian Hawk, who hunts for relics and sells them.

Chan came close to death in this film during a relatively routine stunt, where he leaped onto a tree from a ledge, but the branch he grabbed snapped, sending Chan plummeting and cracking his skull.

The movie had cool stunts, as most Jackie Chan movies do, and the Mitsubishi car used by Chan was so odd and grand to watch. We know very well that he does all his own stunts, and this movie was full of stunts that will make you raise an eyebrow in astonishment.

Going back to the movie, Armour of God, Jackie was involved in saving his former girl and now his friend’s girlfriend from kidnappers who want him to help get the remaining pieces of the Armour of God, so as to have a complete set.

Chan knew the collector who owned the remaining pieces of the Armour of God collection that the kidnappers wanted. So Jackie, his friend, and the collector’s daughter went with the remaining sets of the armour to use as a bargaining chip to save the girl and then steal the complete set of five pieces for the collector.

Chan’s character was a little unrealistic, but after a while you get used to it. Also, the movie was a bit too serious in some aspect, and I felt the pacing was not as tightly shaped as I would have liked. Like in all Chan movies, the scenery is used to its peak, and the movie set a record at its time of release as the highest grossing movie in Hong Kong.

Jackie Chan has kind of dropped lately in his movie profile. Before a Jackie Chan movie comes out, we expect laughs and stunts, but lately there has just been a shadow of what they used to be. His latest, 1911, which holds a 9% approval on Rotten Tomatoes, showed us that Chan is losing his edge.

The Forbidden Kingdom with fellow martial arts star Jet Li was also not much of a success. It showed us what we all desired—to see the two go at it—but other than that, the movie was not much to write home about. It was fun watching the movie all over again and I advise you to try the same.